Afternoon Thunder clouds and Blueberry Tears

Afternoon Thunder clouds and Blueberry Tears

Bag loaded with fresh cucumbers, zucchini and squash, I wipe my humidity soaked brow and look back at the darkening sky. Lord, let those clouds produce rain, I muttered out loud, while my expired tennis shoes crunch over red clay. Walking toward the house I picture my husband on a church softball field and think of the much different prayer those dark clouds release from the tongues ball wielding men and women.

Taking advantage of the cooler air, I refill squirrel eaten bird seed and take a seat on brick and mortar. The sky continues to grow darker as the wind wipes through the trees and the clouds produce low rumbles within their mystery.

Thinking back to the softball field, I walk slowly to my small blueberry bushes. Lord, how many contradictory prayers must you hear? How do you decide whose prayer to answer? Whispered words from my Lord enter my soul, I answer them all, He speaks, as I see a ripe blueberry nestled in a cluster of greens and pale gray. Smiling, I pluck my prize, clean it between my fingers and allow my memories to dive back to a small freckled faced boy standing with pot in hand, looking forward at a blueberry tree that stood high above his little face. Pawpaw stood with us, as we began to fill those pots and a small voice cried out, “Pawpaw, I not see one blueberry, not one.” Pawpaw with child-like words shook his head and said, “Son, there are blueberries everywhere.” As he used his hands to guild the freckled face upward. “You just have to look.”

Tiny drops of rain glistened my arms as tears rolled down my cheeks. Oh for just one more moment, one sweet moment….. 

Savoring the first ripe blueberry of the year I turned my salted cheeks upwards and relived that moment while understanding my answer from God. We tend to look straight ahead, into the problem, like my boy looked at the barren spot on the blueberry tree and gave up all hope of finding more berries, when all he had to do was look up. We tend to only look at what we can see instead of having faith in the unseen. If my sweet little one had looked up his hunt for blueberries would have yielded more fruit than his little pot could hold! Like us, if we only look for the perceived unanswered prayers, we lose sight of the way God answered our prayer.

God answers all prayers, we just need to look up to the Father to see the many blessings, glory, and Joy, in the way He is answering.

 Some days when I write, I find myself in a sort of God moment, where I write out words that just flow out of the pen… I wrote this after my moment by the blueberry bush. All while the rain drizzle flowed over me.

Christ found me- in my unhappy, busy, self-defeated place. He turned a memory into a lesson – He lifted my eyes to the heavens, with a storm baring down and washed away the deep sadness, through redeeming tears. Crying done on brick, relief came in the storm.

You don’t have to wait until the storm is over to feel relief. Grieving and healing can be accomplished while the darkest of clouds, the strongest of wind bends the trees, with rain drops wet on your skin.

Being in the storm doesn’t have to mean a state of constant grief. God doesn’t leave us in the storm. He is there, riding out the storm with us.