Disobedience

Disobedience

 

What do you write about when you have spent your week watching Netflix, reading books on your IPhone, and listening to Podcast, as you discover new gods to put before the very one that brought you through the storm, not 3 months ago? After a hard week of learning a lesson, again, that partial obedience leads to a rough few days, as you sit silently suffering the consequences of not sitting quietly, just a few days before? How do you uplift people that may need to hear a word from God, when even your, morning prayer time, has been interrupted with social media scrolling, delicious cups of coffee, and quiet moments of listening to the chorus of birds, as the sun wakes up the earth?

You write about it. You let people know that you are human and that you put other gods before the Father, this week. We all fall short of His glory and this week is a perfect example. Instead of streaming Christian music into my car for the 30 plus minute drive to and from work, I listened to more secular music. Choosing to drown out the poor choices I made with the sounds of Moby and Adele, other than letting Toby and the Newsboys sway my soul and listen as God talks to me through worship in music. You see, most of what I write is given through conversations with God. Music keeps my attention and drowns out the world. It allows me to listen to the Savior as He guides my direction. This week, I choose a different path. Not because I was angry or because I wanted to drown out my God. I just simple choose to drown out all of it. I didn’t listen when God told me to stay quiet two weeks ago and I had to deal with the aftermath. While I said nothing untrue and in reality did nothing wrong in the eyes of the world, I did not obey the Father and because of that, I was left unprotected from the harshness of this world. I made my life unnecessarily uncomfortable, because I spoke, when I had been told to not say a word.

Have you, ever heard God tell you not to, yet you did and very quickly realized why He said no? In that moment of, what I did was not wrong, but now I have to deal with discomfort because I didn’t listen to the Creator? So, in my flesh, I choose to ignore the, I told you so, conversation and instead, drown it all out. What I am left with, is a feeling of emptiness as I wait for my conversations to begin again. For the last few months, God has brought the story of Saul and his partial disobedience to me. So much so, that I recently told my husband I was ready to change Sunday school material so we could learn something new. I guess, I needed to hear, Saul’s disobedience over and over again. When will I learn?

However, I did give them this command: Obey Me, and then I will be your God, and you will be

My people. You must follow every way I command you so that it may go well with you.

Jer. 7:23

So that it may go well with you… How true that is. If we would obey the Savior, things will go well. It is when we stray from what God tells us, that we find ourselves in a mess. Just a simple instruction from God to stay quiet about a situation, on that day, would have saved me a few uncomfortable days. I pray your week has been better. I hope someone reading this can relate. I am sure that someone reading this, needed this. If it is you, know that you are not alone and that we all have days, weeks, or months that we fall short. I know I do.

Father, forgive me for partial obedience or rather, disobedience. I ask you to turn my attention to you and help me lay the idols down, so that our relationship continues to grow. Give me strength to do as you ask. Give me courage to step out of my comfort zone and have assurance that, if my God is for me, who can be against me? Help me take a leap of faith and walk with you. Father, take care of all of those that read these words. I pray for each and every one. Amen.

Jehovah-Rapha: The Lord who heals.

Jehovah-Rapha: The Lord who heals

 

The only sound I could hear was the pounding of my own heart and that still small voice pushing me forward. I questioned it shaking it off and ignoring it as I watched 9 people make their way to the front of the church. I watched confused as I heard that urging to walk forward and stand at the front of the church. It was so odd for our Pastor to call people to the front, even the day I accepted Christ I had raised a hand in blind view of a congregation. Now, as 9 others stood I knew I was number 10, as  her name came in audible sound and I realized with humbled understanding, that I did, in deed hold anger in my heart and I needed to release it by forgiving her.

For God was pleased to have all His fullness dwell in Him, and through Him to reconcile everything

to Himself by making peace through the blood of His cross- whether things on earth or things in heaven.

Colossians 1: 19-20

Right after church I drove to her house with a peace I had not felt since the day I accepted my Savior. I walked with boldness to her door and she opened it as if expecting me. I sat with her and apologized for the anger I had, explaining why and releasing a weight I never realized I held. She looked at me astonished and only said she had no idea I was angry. She never acknowledged her part, but that was okay. I was not there to hear an apology, only to give one.

Therefore, God’s chosen ones, holy and loved, put on heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience,

Accepting one another and forgiving one another if anyone as a complaint against another. Just as the Lord

has forgiven you, so you must also forgive.

Colossians 3: 12-13

We, as followers of Christ, are expected to forgive others. The harsh reality of it, as flesh, we expect to receive the same from the person we are forgiving. We see this in movies and TV shows as the characters all huddle in a hug of compassion, forgiving each other and going off into the sunset to live happily ever after. The truth is, in life that is not always the case. Christ does not ask us to forgive so we can watch as the other person realizes their wrong and ask for forgiveness, instead he ask us to forgive, so that we can be released from the anger it causes us.

Do you ever find yourself thinking about a person that wronged you and having a heated conversation in your head, proving over and over again why you are right and they are wrong? Do you find that you feel better when that imaginary conversation is over, or do you find that you are angry, sad, or just defeated? Holding on to that does nothing but hurt you. Not everyone needs to have a moment like I had, for some of us the person we need to forgive is gone or unavailable. Find a way to forgive them. Write them a letter that you never mail, go to your knees in prayer and tell God all that you want to say and then succumb to forgiving release.

I realize that some wrongs are too hard to forgive and go back to a loving relationship with someone. There are those situations where you forgive someone, but due to the circumstances of the wrong doing, it is better to forgive and then let God do the rest.

I know that the day I forgave, was a turning point in my life. I was able to move past a part of my life that had so much control over me. The really scary thing is, I never realized how much control that part of my past, controlled.

Above all, put on love-the perfect bond of unity. And let the peace of the Messiah, to which you were also called in one body,

Control your hearts. Be thankful.

Colossians 1: 14-15

Jehovah Rapha, my Father who heals, I pray you heal the wounds of those reading this. Give them the ability to lay it at the cross and let go of anger in their lives. I lift up each person that is reading this and pray it finds the right audience, for your glory, not mine. Amen.

Song of Solomon

Song of Solomon

Over the last few months I have been watching one of my favorite TV series from the 90”s.  In this show I get to watch season after season of never ending gazing, hand holding, jealousy, friendship, and love. The beginning seasons kept me interested because of the uniqueness of the show, but after season three it was clear that I wanted to watch the two main characters fall in love. This, is also, why my favorite movie is, My Fair Lady. There is something magical about Eliza Doolittle dressed in the most beautiful dress ever, in my opinion, designed, with beautiful jewelry to accent her flawless appearance, as she heads to a dance to be shown off by the man trying to turn her into a Lady. A peasant turned into a Queen, by a man who was only interested in winning a bet. Something changed in Eliza that night. The switch is flipped that evening, as Eliza is now in love with this man. I watch with a smile and pounding heart as she begins to sing, I could have danced all night, I could have danced all night, and still have begged for more.

Oh, that he would kiss me with the kisses of his mouth!

For your love is more delightful than wine. The fragrance of your perfume is intoxicating;

your name is perfume poured out. No wonder young women adore you.

Song of Solomon 1: 2-3

Surprised to see those verses? I must admit, I was too and I believe I blushed a little. While it is nothing for me to endlessly wait on my favorite characters to finally kiss, I find it shocking that this lust and desire would be in the bible. I often forget that God designed us to desire our spouses.  After all, it is that moment we all dream of, right? That first kiss with the man or woman of our dreams? The kiss is what we wait for while reading a book, watching a movie, or even watching a TV series. It’s the shark writers don’t want to jump, yet the scene we all, dreamy eyed, wait for. It’s the moment Whitley says yes to Duwayne Wayne, the moment Rhett Butler takes Scarlett into his arms, and when Ross and Rachel kiss.

I find television sad now in that we no longer have to wait more than a season or two for characters to not only kiss, but jump into bed together. As if that is not bad enough, we then watch as they break up and get back together over and over again. Young adults see this as the norm when they date and very rarely have to wait on that, first front door step, kiss. The lingering anticipation soon fades as they mistake physical yearning for love. What has happened to the movies that left us with smiles on our faces as we see Eliza Doolittle and Henry Higgins miserable without each other and watch as Rhett Butler takes Scarlett upstairs, satisfied with the emotion of the scene. Even on sitcoms, we were satisfied with a flirtation that could go on for season after season, tuning in each week hoping for a flirtatious remark or a glaze. Loving the silly situations, that never happen in real life, to push our favorite characters together.

Take me with you – let us hurry. Oh, that the king would bring me to his chambers.

Song of Solomon 1: 4

King Solomon’s bride was waiting for her honeymoon night. The anticipation of that night brought her joy as she pined for her king. The poetry of this book is a beautiful reminder for those of us that are married. Ladies, when was the last time you wished that your husband would take you to his chambers? When, was the last time you pined for a kiss of the mouth? Are these just girlish desires that die after we get our wedding day, after the “shark” has been jumped and the anticipation is no longer there? The story is not over and our spouses should still bring an increased beating of the heart, a smile to our face, and desire.

I realize this is not my normal writing. Maybe 7 seasons of watching two fictitious characters has made me mushy hearted or maybe we all need to be reminded of the love between a man and woman. The shyness of love as it first catches us off guard. The sweaty palms, heart beating out of our chest, and the hope that this is the person, the one, the ever after. God created man to be with woman. He wanted man to have a person to love and cherish, but if you read the Song of Solomon, he also created us to desire our spouse. Take a moment to read this short book of poetry between a man and woman. Blush a little as you read it and then remember that moment the man of your dreams, stepped in closer, for a first kiss.

Dear Lord, bless those that are reading this. I pray you will put marriages back together and desire back into the hearts of those that have forgotten each other. Amen.