Conversation with an Angel

A season of endless prayers for restoration fell on silent ears, each morning as I drove to work. Endless storms, pressing in, as one by one, securities fail, and life looks forever different. A familiar road to work with a pit stop for breakfast and everything changed.

A few years back the enemy attacked my family, as I have talked about many times, and during one morning routine, I had the privilege of spoken words by Gods messenger.

Each morning, I dropped our youngest at school, and then drove to the Subway close to work, grabbed a breakfast sandwich, and then sat in the parking lot until time to drive to my office. However, this morning was different….. I didn’t turn down the side road, but decided to stay on the main road and I saw him. A man, homeless, with a cart full of bag necessities, walked slowly down the sidewalk.  Seeing homeless was not uncommon, as the railroad through the intersection provides a nice route to the Salvation Army, so I had seen this everyday. I knew their faces, clothes, carts, pets, but this man, I did not know. I couldn’t stop staring at him and I began to feel a stirring.

Buy two sandwiches…..

What? I don’t need two sandwiches and our bank account is low.

Buy two sandwiches and give him one……

But, what? It’s dangerous to speak to the homeless and besides, I don’t know what he likes.

Buy two of the sandwiches you normally get.

I turned in the parking lot, a head of him and still I argued.

Okay, I will buy two sandwiches, but I am not going to track him down and drive to him, this is not safe…..

 As, I started to walk into the restaurant, I noticed the man and cart stopped walking. He was looking around in his cart…he just stopped. Well, I thought, I can always give the extra sandwich to a co-worker, and I ordered.

Get two drinks.

Okay, but I am not going to drive after him and he will be long gone before I leave.

I walked out to my car, and he was still on the sidewalk. I started to back out and he began to walk again. His cart crossed the parking lot entrance as I got to the exit and he was at my door with perfect timing.

Roll down your window and give him the sandwich and drink.

Are you hungry? I got you something. …….and then his eyes met mine and I couldn’t look away as he boldly held my gaze. Dirty hands, warm and inviting, took the food, and eyes like I’ve never seen, held mine, as tears began to burn and blur my vision.

“God is going to bless you.” And I ….not him, said, Thank you, through choked voice. I rolled up my window, turned right onto the road and pulled into my office, not a block away. I looked back at my rear view mirror to watch him pass ……..but, he didn’t. He never did….I looked up the street and back down it….I looked to the railways and I didn’t see.

You will never see him, again.

….and I haven’t. I sobbed until I had to pull myself together, and I can still see his eyes as he said, God is going to bless you…..Not, God Bless you, like most say…..but, God is going to bless you. He said it with authority, assurance, and confidence. He was right. God has blessed me and my family in so many ways since that encounter.

Let brotherly love continue.

Don’t neglect to show hospitality, for by

doing this some have welcomed angels

as guest without knowing it.

Hebrews 13 1-2

I have no doubt this was an angel sent by God to give me encouragement. I am thankful for this encounter and pray that the next time; I argue a little less with God.

Father, thank you for ministering angels that send us your word. I pray that we all remember to show love to one another and treat everyone like they could be an angel. Amen

I am the InnKeeper that turned away Love.

The Holiday season has begun and as always, I am ready the day after Halloween to throw out Pumpkin Spice for the red cup of Christmas cheer! I know we still have a Thanksgiving bird to cook, but honestly, I’m thankful for the freedom to decorate my house in Christmas red, green, silver and gold, even as some of you choose to keep browns, golds, and shades of autumn around.  I always have these wonderful dreams of things my family will do to fill up our slim weekends after Halloween, but poof, just like that, they are all scheduled. This year is not exception and I wish that I could say that I’ve been smiling and accepting of all he extra, but, I can’t.

As each weekend has been spoken for by some unforeseen event, I have huffed and puffed. I’ve shown the calendar to my sweet husband and begged him to understand that “my” Christmas is being taken away because of all of these events, most of them, I’m embarrassed to admit, with our church. Instead of joy filling my soul that we have ministry opportunities in our church, I’ve ask, when will we decorate our house, when will we go Christmas shopping, when we will we clean the house? Me, Me, Me…..all me.

So, as you can imagine, when my husband came to me late one night, after a phone call, and said, we need to talk….. I tensed up. You see, we had a plan and I was finally, accepting the added duties, understanding that we had a plan. He began,  I’ve been ask to volunteer for one more thing, but I’m only doing this part of it ……translation, two to three more hours, each Saturday, taken away from, “my” Christmas. I wish I could say that I was understanding, I wish I could say that I met his enthusiasm to serve, I wish more than anything I understood his heart to serve, but instead, words were exchanged, bed time was late, and apologies were hard.

Driving to work the next morning, I tried to come to grips with it. God and I began a dialogue and for a brief, very brief, moment, I felt justified in my anger the night before. After all, God tells us to rest one day a week and if our weekends are full, how is that rest? Like I said, my feelings of justification were brief….. God slowly began to take me to the manger scene with the words of Christmas songs. How must Mary have felt with her life being forever changed? Then I saw the shepherds with their sheep and it must have been inconvenient for them to leave the sheep to follow the star. I was starting to understand, when God, not to be disrespectful, but He, Dropped the mic, y’all and I saw, Mary and Joseph being turned away by Inn keeper, after Inn keeper and I stopped breathing as my cheeks dampened. No! No! Please no….. I was not like the Inn keepers….I’m the Inn Keeper that found room for Mary, Joseph, and baby Jesus! I am the disciple that walked away from my fishing job to follow the Savior, I am the woman at the well who went into town to tell the village about Jesus, I am ………..fooling myself and I find myself utterly devastated.

Truth is we all want to believe that we would have been Peter, the Rock, which Jesus built his church on. We all want to believe that we could have been Moses and maybe we would have needed persuading, but we would have come around, right?…..But are we? How many more, rich young rulers, are there, than fishermen?  This was my moment and I can’t promise there will not be more. I am flesh, I am sinful man, and I am selfish. God forgive me.

When did a clean house, baked cookies, Christmas trees, and visits to Christmas themed towns become the reason for the season? Yes, I have a lot of do this year, more than I wish, but I choose to that Love came down and I am to share the love of Christ. So, someone may not get their favorite dessert, a Christmas gift might not be perfect or even purchased for that matter, and  that Christmas town might have to wait, but I will show you love in an unorganized, not perfectly decorated home, this Christmas. Jesus Christ is the only thing that matters during this season of hope, love, and family.

Father, forgive us. This flesh is hard to fight against somedays. When we see those whose families look like a Hallmark movie, remind us to let people see our flaws, our dirty, our mess, our anxiety, our fears, and then let them see the Love of this world in that ugly. Let them see the blood stained scars, washed clean by a baby lying in a manger, killed on a cross, and raised from the dead, to the right hand side of God, forevermore. Amen