Unchanging Love

Unchanging Love

As far as the east is from the west, so far has He

 removed our transgressions from us.

Psalm 103:12

As I got out of my car, my Aunt approached. She told me, that she had already told my Grandparents the news I had come to tell them. I stood there with her, looking toward the Gazebo where I had spent much of my childhood, playing, laughing and talking on Sunday afternoons. My boyfriend and I found out the day he left for Army basic training as I was standing at MEPS, in Charlotte, NC, with tears in my eyes as he was waiting to leave. The Doctor called to confirm what the little pink line had already told us. The next days were a blur as I was left to tell family, alone, though not by his choice.  My Dad took the news okay, as I ask him if he wanted to be a Grandfather, too ashamed, to just tell him I was expecting. My boyfriend’s family was easy, as they had opened their doors to me and allowed me to live with them until he returned from Basic. My Grandparents, were something different. With them, it was as if I forgot that I would have to tell them too. I felt like it would change me,  from the well-loved little girl that used to watch the red caboose with my Pawpaw, in Belmont, to an unlovable,  unwed 20 year old, expecting a Great grandbaby.

My Aunt walked with me, slowly, telling me that the hard part was done. She also said something I have never forgotten, “Good girls, get caught.” I didn’t completely understand that until years later. I realized that I did have options, though none of them ever entered my mind. This baby was mine and he was my responsibility to take care of. I walked in the square, white gazebo and sat down in a white wooden chair facing my grandparents, swinging the in the porch swing. My Mawmaw was looking down at her feet, as she often did and my Pawpaw looked me in the eyes with all the love of the man that had on several occasions,  raced with me to the railroad tracks, me in the front seat, standing up, with, only, his strong arm for protection, to make sure I saw the red caboose before the train was out of sight. No judgement showed in his eyes, just perfect unchanging love.

 As a father has compassion on his children,

So the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him. For He knows

What we are made of, remembering that we are dust.

Palm 103:13-14

I imagine that is the way our Savior looks at us when we fail. If we all could love the way my Pawpaw did in that very moment, without judgement in his eyes, without hurt or disgust, just love. How much more would our lights shine in this dark world, if we could love in that way. A few years back we had a need to talk to a counselor with my son. The counselor ask him if he thought he was loved and he said yes. I know my parents love me, no matter what I do. I remember thinking we must have done something right, because even through the storm, he knew he was loved. Much like I did, many years before, in that little white gazebo.

Dear friends, let us love one another, because love is from God, and everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.

The one who does not love does not know God, because God is love.

1 John 4: 7-8

It is hard, at times, to remember that all sin is equal in the eyes of God. It is even harder to watch a follower of Christ fall and sin and love them where they are. That is exactly what God wants from us. To look into the eyes of His people and love them where they are. It is not our job to change them, it is only for us to love them and show them the light of Christ. I saw true love on that hot summer day in August, as I listened as my Grandparents loved me, where I was. They treated my son with the same love they gave me and they were proud Great Grandparents when he made his debut in to this world. Just, might I add, as the rest of my family. The shame I felt as I went to Doctor appointments’, still baring my maiden name, was not due to anyone in my life, it was my own shame.  There were people that shunned me but honestly, that is a whole other blog. We must remember, that God is love. Unfortunately, due to man and his failures, the world does not always see God as love, they instead see Him as judgement, shame, and hate. We can change that image by loving people, not after they are clean, but where they are.

Hatred stirs up conflicts,

But love covers all offenses.

Proverbs 10:12

Wise words to live by. Somedays we just have to bite or tongues and show love because as we are reminded in John 15:13,” Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” That friend was Jesus Christ and He laid down His life for all men that we might know of His unchanging love.

After my Pawpaw passed, I drove to Belmont, parked and sat in my car waiting for the train to pass. No trains went by that morning and finally, tear soaked and exhausted, I put the car in drive and drove home. I’ve seen trains, even cabooses, but since that day I have not parked and sat to wait. I pray for trains in Heaven, so that when I am reunited with my Pawpaw, we can watch one together. I hope he puts his arm around my waist, and we just watch.   

Lord, I lift up those in need of a reminder of your love today. Send me, Lord, to love someone that needs to see your light. I pray I hold my tongue of judgement and just love them where they are. Amen.

Sunrise/Sunset

Sunrise/Sunset

The last day of our trip I made my way up the stairs to the smell of coffee and quiet chatter. I poured a cup of what makes me smile in the morning and made my way to the balcony I had shared laughter with my family for the last week. My Father, Uncle, Sister and two nieces and one nephew shared the porch. We stood or sat huddled under blankets and sweaters on a cool June morning as the Outer Banks took a beating from Mother Nature’s breath. The winds were so strong, as I turned my mug to drink of God’s gift of coffee, the liquid flowed from the cup and onto my arm, immediately cooled, but unable to stand the wind force and stay in the cup. The ocean looked angry as white caps shown as far as the ocean met the sky and the beach could not be seen for the furry of beating waves, farther up the coast than we had seen all week. For only three minutes we watched the perfectly straight line at ocean and sky as the color orange became more prominent over the clouds until at last, the brilliant orange dot made its appearance. I watched as a flock of Pelican’s began flight, just as the sun crest the earth, as if they paid homage to the Creator.  We stood listening to children ohh and ahh as the sun slowly rose and within minutes was full circle, too bright to continue watch.  It struck me that somewhere, someone else was watching the sun disappear over another horizon. One man’s sunrise is another man’s sunset. The beauty of it hit and has stuck as my favorite moment with my family.

For my days are like a shadow that lengthens, and I wither away like grass.

Psalms 102:11

Many stories were shared over that week. Some bigger than they actually were and others just as they had happened. We talked of loved ones gone with laughter instead of tears and reminisced of days gone by. One evening, as my sister, brother, and I worked without instruction to clean the kitchen, my Dad just watched with mist in his eyes. I wonder, at that moment, did he see three grown children with families of our own, or three young siblings, laughing together? So is life, as one generation rises, another begins to set. Both are just as beautiful, yet the morning sunrise brings promise of a new day as the setting sun brings only memories of a day that can never be repeated.

Your Kingdom is an everlasting kingdom;

Your rule is for all generations…..

Psalm 145:13

Even now the nostalgia from the past week rushes over me as I listen to, Simon and Garfunkel on my IPhone, repeating the words of, well remembered songs, from Sunday morning vinyl. My Sunday mornings were full of the Ventures, Beach Boys, JD Sumner, Elvis, and many more. Late one evening, while on vacation, we played pool in the game room and sang, Bridge over Troubled waters. I realized that those Sunday mornings were entangled in all of us, no matter how far we each had strayed; we were all part of each other. We all shared, our childhood memories, with our own, next generation.

Therefore the Lord God said: “Look I have laid a stone in Zion, a tested stone, a precious cornerstone, a sure foundation;

The one who believes will be unshakable.

Isaiah 28:16

Cornerstone, is define as a stone that forms the base of a corner of a building, joining two ways or an important quality or feature on which a particular thing depends or is based.  This is the foundation for followers of Christ, in that Christ is our cornerstone. Much is the same in a family. When my Pawpaw, passed away, I remember feeling shaken. Like a part of the family layer had been removed. The wonderful truth for believers and hope for nonbelievers, is that our Cornerstone, is a sure foundation and when we believe in Him, we will not be shaken. With family, when the head is gone, it can take time to find your footing and come together. Sometimes these families are blended and mixed together, other times, it just takes the Prodigal child coming home.

Whatever it is in your family that you call the cornerstone, I pray that you always find happiness together. Don’t allow storms, death, or long distance to shake your family foundation. Find time to come together as one and get to know each person. Don’t wait, 20 years, like my family did. I know that my Pawpaw would have loved to sit back and watch the madness that took place last week as we all came together on the Outer Banks. Pray for those lost to you and know that God has a plan, offer forgiveness where it is needed, humble yourself even when you are the hurt one, and take time to just sit back and watch as your family unit shares generation after generation of pieces of one another. Sing off tone to family favorites, stay up too late with the kids, eat ice cream at 10 pm, because it’s there, and bite your tongue when something bothers you. Most of all, hug the one that needs it the most, lay your head on the shoulder of a loved one and don’t pull back when they hold your hand. Wipe away tears as you share a memory and listen to someone else’s version, instead of sharing, what really happened.

Lord, thank you for a family with an earthly father that is a cornerstone. Though he is not perfect, he loves each of us. He worked three jobs to support us and always tried to do what was right. He loves us through our failures and brags on us in our accomplishments. I pray for the father missing their child today, I pray for the child missing their father today. I thank you for the men that have been fathers to the fatherless and I thank you most of all for my Daddy. Amen

Happy Father’s Day!

Why would a Loving God....

Why would a loving God….

How long, Lord, must I call for help and you do not listen or cry out to You about violence and You do not save?

Why do You force me to look at injustice? Why do You tolerate wrong doing? Oppression and violence are right in front of me. Strife is ongoing and the conflict escalates.

This is why the law is ineffective and justice never emerges. For the wicked restrict the righteous; therefore, justice comes out perverted.

Habakkuk 1: 2-4

The lobby was packed full of customers on a busy Friday afternoon. This was before Wi-Fi connected at every store and direct deposit was required by most every employer. Customers still walked into the bank to make deposits, open accounts, and apply for loans. I sat with a man, trying to make heads or tails of his checkbook, patiently, I helped him as the clients piled up. Once we were done, I started to stand to hurry him from my desk and help the next customer. He remained seated and began to talk about his wife. My wife, he said, is the one that always handled the bank book, but she has been sick and I’ve had to take time off from work to take care of her, he explained.

This man smelled of many cigarettes smoked over many years, his skin was like leather and his hands showed hard working years with callouses upon callouses. He wore a well, worn plaid shirt with an equally well, worn pair of jeans. His hair had not been cut in a while and he shook a little as we talked. He began to tell me of his wife’s illness and how there was no hope of her recovering. They were in the final days and he had left her side for a little while to refill her medicines and get things to make her comfortable. I began to shuffle in my chair, not sure what to do. We were in the middle of the lobby and others were impatiently listening to our conversation as he spoke of his wife like we were the only two there. He began to look past me as he spoke, no longer speaking to me, just speaking. I listened until I could no longer make the others wait and stood. I told him I would keep her in my prayers and patted his arm.  

It was at that moment his thoughts came back to the lobby and he ask me a question I could not answer and one I have never forgotten. I still hear his broken voice, “What am I going to do? She’s the only woman I have ever loved. “With that, he turned and left. I found it hard to swallow and made my way to the next couple that had been waiting. My eyes filled with tears and I apologized as I looked away for a moment and made time to watch him leave.

Have you ever been ask, how could a loving God allow bad things to happen? If you haven’t, just wait, you will. The Profit, Habakkuk, ask God these question. Why Lord, How long Lord? All questions, I myself ask when the storms roll in. How long Lord, will you allow this oppression. Why, God, do you allow the wicked to prevail? It seems that we are not the first to ask God these questions.

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age,

against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.

Ephesians 6:12

I do not have the answers you seek with this with this blog. I do not know why one woman can bear children, while another cannot. I do not know why people die young, and others live to be 100. I do not know why bad things happen to some and others seems to have a golden life. I can tell you that this is not our permanent home. This land we live on is the Principality of the enemy and he will stop at nothing to make followers of Christ miserable.

 The enemy uses others to come against us. Try looking at the person causing you pain as a person being used by the enemy. That will make you pray for that person a lot differently. I had a Pastor, tell me stop envisioning the person hurting me, as flesh and start seeing that person in a way that would cause me to pray for them. Now when I pray for someone coming against me, I see them covered in a dark tar, choking them and preventing them from seeing the light. The tar represents the evil spilling out over them. I being to pray that the Light break through the dark, thick, tar and allow them to be used as vessels of the King, not the enemy.

Why do bad things happen? Look at the scripture. Bad things happen because we fight against powers, rulers, and spiritual hosts in wickedness. There is a lot going on in the heavenly realms. God’s forces are surrounding us to protect us. When I go through a storm, I try to remember how much worse it would be without God’s hedge of protection around me and my family. There is a reason for everything we go through and a testimony waiting to help another.

I encourage you to read the book of Habakkuk. It is a great read that goes through a conversation with God.

Lord, I lift up those asking you, why? I pray for those that seek answers for the bad things that have happened in their lives or the lives of those around them. I pray as they seek answers, they find peace in knowing that you have already won. Lord thank you for the opportunity to minister to others. May these words touch someone, today. Amen