Grace forgave a Nation

Grace forgave a Nation

 

 Shoving pizza in my mouth, as fast as the cheesy goo will go, waiting on my computer to update, so I can Netflix the disappointment of the day away, I sigh.  What is it that I want? What is it that will make me throw open the curtains and let the, late day sun-shine, brighten the room, instead of hiding in darkness, clad in pajamas before the moon appears.

Stability…….. that is what I want. Faced with the third lay-off or “displacement”, in 5 years, I think to myself, I want stability in something.

“You do,” He that created all things, whispered, “In Me…….”

Oh, I thought and oh how I wish it was that simple. That my soul would simply remember that I do not need to fear and that God is all I need. Immediately, I think of the morning I was reading in 1^st Samuel, chapter 8 and I cried at the realization that the Israelites had the King of Kings, yet demanded an earthly King to sit on a man-made throne.

1 Samuel 8:4-7 New King James Version (NKJV)

⁴ Then all the elders of Israel gathered together and came to Samuel at Ramah, ⁵ and said to him, “Look, you are old, and your sons do not walk in your ways. Now make us a king to judge us like all the nations.”

⁶ But the thing displeased Samuel when they said, “Give us a king to judge us.” So Samuel prayed to the Lord. ⁷ And the Lord said to Samuel, “Heed the voice of the people in all that they say to you; for they have not rejected you, but they have rejected Me, that I should not reign over them.

I sat and thought of those tears, sobbing, shirt drenching tears, as I couldn’t comprehend the dismissal of, the King. I thought of everything Israel would suffer at the hands of bad kings and spoke aloud, they had God ruling over them and they choose flesh and blood. Then, when flesh and blood came to earth to save them, they rejected Him, too.

Yet, here I sit, pizza warm in the plate on my lap, watching a computer tick away minutes as updates continue to deprive me of mind numbing sanctuary, and I too reject the idea that Savior is my stability. An author I read, Ann VosKamp, refers to it as, soul amnesia. When God shows up and shows off, I am screaming it from the roof tops that God is taking care of me and I have nothing to fear, but as soon as another road block hits, I put on my mask, pretend all is okay, and sulk like a child told no.

The sad truth is, my mind has a hard time believing, the King of all Kings, is enough to make me feel secure. I cringe when I think I am nothing more than a person seeking flesh and blood in the form of never ending, visible stability. But, grace forgave a nation and grace forgives me. My God knew that our flesh is weak and he freely gives grace to cover all of our failings, including our inability to rest in His shadow when the enemy attacks.

Father, I praise you for winning in a world ruled by the prince of darkness. For stability in my King of Kings and not in worldly things. I pray for those hiding in the darkness, those that need stability, love, understanding…you are all those and more to the hurting, broken, different, created man. Thank you for being all we need, even when we reject you. Amen.

***Update, within days of writing this entry to my journal, the company I work for approached me and made a very generous offer to put me on a special project for 14 months, train me, and when I leave, I will be blessed. From 8 weeks to 14 months. Anyone else suspect that God wants me to lean on Him for stability and not the world.

40 Days

40 Days

On June the 28^th, 2015, I sat in church and God began to speak. He challenged me to get up a little earlier and have quiet time with him for 40 days. Folks, I’m not going to lie, I struggled with this and not because I already had a devoted time with God, because I didn't, but for very selfish reasons. You see, school had let out and yes, I am a working mother, but I didn’t have to be at work until 8:30, in those days, and school being out equaled as much as an extra hour of sleep for me.  That may sound petty, but trust me, there are some momma’s reading this and saying, Amen, sister…sleep on….  In the end, God won.

I began my 40 days with the 2^nd chapter of Romans. I must say, after the year I had before, I was not ready to be hit squarely in the face with scripture one.

Therefore, any one of you who judges is without excuse.

For when you judge another, you condemn yourself, since you, the judge,

do the same things.

Romans 2:1

Still healing from the beating my family had taken and getting used to being a family of 4, no longer a family of 5, I held a lot of judgement in my heart. Early morning, with hardly any sleep the night before, I forced myself out of bed an hour and a half before I had got up the Friday before, and BAM, God was reminding me that it is inexcusable to judge others.  29 meticulous bullet points later, detailing each scripture, with sleep still hovering in my eyes, and I ended two pages with the very prayers I had prayed for a year, only this time, I tried to do it without judgement.

I had mornings where getting up was hard, but I pushed myself, all summer long, adjusting the time to a more reasonable alarm, that gave me time to read and pray. 3 years and one blog later and I still have morning coffee with my Savior. You see, without the brokenness, there would be no challenge, without the challenge, there would be no morning devotion, without a morning devotion there would be no blog, and most importantly, without a devoted morning time, there would be no tear stinging story from my, freckled-faced boys Sunday school teacher, telling me how he told her that he knew when to be still and allow mom and dad to have their quiet moment with Savior.

40 days ended on August the 9^th with, 2^nd Peter chapter 2.

But there were also false prophets among the people,

just as there will be false teachers among you.

They will secretly bring in destructive heresies,

even denying the Master who bought them,

 and will bring swift destruction on themselves.

2 Peter 2:2

Morning coffee with the Savior is how I arm myself against the enemy’s attacks and false teachers. The name of this blog came from those morning devotions, where I brewed coffee and began my conversation with Him, who bled for me. I imaged how the Woman at the well felt, when she realized she was having a conversation with the promised Savior and decided that is what my mornings are like. Just Savior and me, talking, over coffee.

Today, readers, I challenge you to the same 40 day challenge, that I took three years ago. If, you don’t already have a devoted time with God, start tomorrow. Get a pen, notepad, your bible and a comfy spot, and invite Savior over for morning coffee, afternoon tea, or evening warm milk. I promise, you’ll look forward to day, 41……

Father, I pray for the people that accept this challenge and I pray they seek you, when they begin. I pray for the warriors you are rising up to pray against the enemy attacks. Amen.