God our Avenger

God our Avenger

“Friends, do not avenge yourselves; instead, leave room for His wrath. For it is written: Vengeance belongs to Me; I will repay, says the Lord.

Romans 12:19

I was winning this argument. Oh the words I was lashing out and the wit I used to cut her down. She had no come back because she knew I was right and this argument was taking place in my head. This argument went on and on with each word reinvented until it was perfect. I had or still have this argument in my head, not every morning, but most. This person that has hurt me and my family, I argue with and I win. I tell her what a horrible person she is and how God is going to take care of her.

 Right after she hurt our family I had these arguments daily. Lashing out at her the only way I could…in my head. I envisioned scenarios that would make me smile as she was cut deep in her heart; in the same way she has cut our family.  The thing is, these make believe arguments do not make me feel better. In the end, I am still left with brokenness and longing for the day that my God, avenges this situation. I have prayed for her and our pain, but the flesh in me seems to go back to the arguments in my head as I impatiently wait for God to right this wrong. I do know with all that is in me, that my God is greater than this pain and that He has a plan. I know that this wrong will be made right and that He will receive glory. I already see how God is using this pain to grow my personal relationship with Him.

“But, If your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he is thirsty, give him something to drink. For in so doing you will be heaping fiery coals on his head.”

Romans 12:20

I don’t really want to admit this, but at one time, my arguments with her turned into visions of her being ill. In this version of my vengeance, I was taking care of her. This is better, right? God has made her body sick and I step in to feed her and give her drink. That way I can watch as fiery coals burn on top of her head. Oh, how I have so much to learn. That is not why God wants us to care for our enemy. Although it may be enough incentive for some of us, just to see those red hot ambers!

God wants us to love our enemy, even when they have oppressed us, hated us, hurt us. He wants true forgiveness so that when we see our enemy in need, we are able to go to them with a true heart of sympathy. Our enemy will know if we truly care about their needs or if we are just waiting on those hot goals to drop on their head.

“Then I will purify them and put them to the test, just as gold and silver are purified and tested .They will pray in my name, and I will answer them. I will say, “You are my people,” and they will reply “You, Lord, are our God!”

Zechariah 13:9

So why hot coals? The Lord has to know that for those of us that have a hard time letting go of anger, that this would only please us to reap some burning hot coals on someone’s head. Think about heat and being refined? The Bible talks about going through the Refiner’s fire, many times. These are just my thoughts and it helps me to look at hot coals as a path to salvation instead of painful revenge, caused by my act of love. When we forgive our enemy and show them love, even when they deserve none, it causes them to be uncomfortable. (Hum just a side note…know anyone else that deserved no love, forgiveness or mercy, yet Jesus still died on that cross? Should not be hard to find, just take a glance in any mirror.)  They begin to question your motive and why you would be kind to them, even when they have been so mean to you. Trust me, even when someone has wronged you and told lies to cover up their own lie; they still know the truth, and so does He. Your kindness will bother them and the hot coals begin to do their magic. They begin to refine that hardening heart and soften it to the truth. If your enemy allows the full refining process to continue, they will seek forgiveness and enter into the Kingdom, which should be our prayer, for all of our enemies. I say, allows, because God gives us free will. Your enemy can still refuse God.

“Do not be conquered by evil, but conquer evil with good.”

Romans 12:21

Only a loving God, could tell us to conquer evil with good. This enemy that I spoke of in the beginning is not someone easy to love. The Lord has completely removed her from our lives and protected us from the lies she tells. I still cry out to the Lord for restoration and deliverance from the pain she has caused our family. I have good friends that I know call out our name in prayer and remind me that God has a plan and His glory will shine through this. This is my Refiner’s fire. This pain and void I feel in my life is the reason for this blog. The reason I get up 30 minutes early, every morning to study God’s word, and the reason new ministries have been brought into my life. I say this to whomever is reading this and does not understand the fire they are going through. While I desperately want this season to be avenged, I also cherish the friendship I have found with my Savior through it. I went to church on Sunday morning, I sang in the choir, I listened to Christian music, and I opened my bible when I needed something. True worship came with this trail. True friendship with my Lord is a result of my dependence on Him. He is my protection, my shield, my teacher, my encourager…. The list can go on. As a new Christian in 2001, He quickly became my Provider and I was happy with that, but over the last two years, He has become so much more. I challenge you to seek the Father. I understand better than most that our flesh is our weakness. Just because your flesh fails you does not mean you have a lack of faith. Faith comes in knowing that even through the darkest moments, our God will be victorious.

Father God, we face so many enemies along the way of life. It seems that at the times we obey you most, the fire is more intense. So many times, we wish to just stop and no longer walk through the flames. Your word protects us with a shield from the hottest of flames. Be with my brothers and sisters, as we all face our adversaries and let us show them true love and pray that they too will accept Salvation through our Lord, Jesus Christ. Amen