Always There

Always there

Morning coffee in a hand I watch with amusement as a rabbit joins my motley crew of fur and feathered friends, eating “bird” seed from my front lawn. Excited, I text my early morning rising dad and he text back, “LOL, you always did.”

He is right. That big ole brownish gray rabbit is not the first or will he be the last. Judging by his comfort of my presence, I would say he has been around for a while.

Picking up my bible, I began to read from Galatians, Chapter 5:1.

Christ has liberated us to be free. Stand firm and then don’t submit again to a yoke of slavery. 2 Take note! I, Paul, tell

you that if you get yourselves circumcised, Christ will not benefit you at all.

This speaks to the law of the Jews.

4. You who are trying to be justified by the law are alienated from Christ; you have fallen from grace.

5. For through the spirit, by faith, we eagerly wait for the hope of the righteousness.

6. For in Christ Jesus, neither circumcism nor uncircumcision accomplishes anything;

WHAT

MATTERS IS

FAITH – WORKING THROUGH

LOVE.

The law accomplishes nothing…..  What does accomplish is FAITH in Christ – working THROUGH LOVE.

Let me say this, before I continue. Laws are important for governments, but Christ dying on the cross is a new covenant and Paul is speaking to the Jews that feel they must continue to follow the old laws.

We cannot change this world with law and rules …..only Faith through Love.

It’s always been there, the way to heal, to share the Good News, to open up to those that don’t know the Savior, to be Christ to a world full of desperation. He has always been there….waiting for us to have Faith in Christ and work through love to heal His people.

Held Hostage

Held Hostage

Driving to work, I see the traffic backing up before I even get close to the interstate. I sigh and look at my all-knowing Iphone for direction. Taking a back road, I quickly realize that there is no way around this mess. Again, I whisper, held hostage, by this road I travel to and from work. Later in the day my phone flashes a message from a friend telling me she introduced a mutual friend to the song, Fear is a Liar, by Zach Williams. I smile and think back to my description of the traffic I sit in often. That it is a robber of time and holds me hostage while I try to get to work and back to my family. The connection is made and once again Savior gives me peace about my journey.

I started in banking back in 2010 and like most people that work in retail banking, I was taught about products, customer service, and most importantly, how to be robbed safely. In banking, 1 in every 5 employees will be in an actual robbery or that is what I was told and sitting in break rooms or water cooler moments, I’ve heard a lot of those 1 in 5 moments. I too, am 1 in five. One thing that stands out in these trainings are the stories. Normally when the instructor starts to tell us how to remain calm and to get the robber out as quickly and quietly as possible, they will begin to share stories about some memorable robberies. It is in that moment that you learn that no matter who you are, no one knows how they will react when a robber walks in. Whether you’re a seasoned employee of 20 plus years that walks away from a note handed and leave the building, saying it is your lunch time, thus leaving a younger less experienced person to deal with the now angry robber, the tough branch manager that hides in their office while the new part time teller takes over the situation and calmly does what is expected, or the operations leader that has spent the better most of her career teaching branches how to enter the building securely, breaks her own rules, and finds herself stripped down to her necessities, tied up in a vault, during a well-planned “morning glory” robbery. We all have our own story, our own private moments when we break down after the ugly has taken place, our own pep talk to return to work, and then there are those, that never recover and resign .

Another part of training is what to do if the bank robber wants to take you hostage. This is where the instructor says, we can’t tell you what to do, but we recommend that you don’t go. Years later, I sat in a classroom full of women at a women in business, luncheon and listened as a detective had a different recommendation. He said, never let them take you to crime scene number two. Now don’t get me wrong, neither is wrong. The bank cannot tell an employee how to react to a robbery, but the detective is empowered to tell you not to end up becoming crime scene number two. The detective told us to put up a fight and that most of the time the “bad guy” will flee. Sound familiar?

Open your imagination with me for a moment and let fear become a bank robber, a mugger, a bad guy, and fear now wants to take you hostage, after robbing you. Never, let fear hold you hostage at crime scene 2. That my friends, is where you will die. Fear holds you there, preventing you from doing or being who God wants you to be. It is the enemy’s greatest weapon. His greatest demon. Fear as a bad guy has many of us held hostage at crime scene 2 and that is where we will die with friendships unmade due to a fear of relationship, ministries unbuilt due to a fear of failure, books unwritten due to insecurities. (Pause, deep breath…that last one was for me dear friends….) 

Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

James 4:7

Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil.  For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.  Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm.”

– Eph 6.11-13

Like the detective said, resist the bad guy and he will, in most cases, flee. You see the bad guy is afraid of being arrested and he only wants to take what he came for and leave. When you resist, this adds to his time line and he will leave. The same is true of Fear, when we put on the full armor of God, by studying His word, living His message, believing in Christ as our Savior, the enemy, Fear, will flee. We resist the enemy by calling on the name of Jesus for power, when fear has stripped us of security. The power comes from a relationship with Christ and through that relationship we can leave crime scene number two, no longer held hostage by the fear that prevents us from being who we are called to be in the army of Christ our King.

When we are faced with a bad situation, we don't know how we will react. We can't anticipate what fear will do to us in the moment and for years after. The years after can either be the moment we escape or the time we are held hostage at crime scene number two.

Today, open God’s holy Word, put on the full armor and do what you are called to do. Don’t be afraid to steo over the ledge. Christ will carry you, catch you, and Fear, will flee.

Jesus, my Savior, today I admit that I am held hostage by the fear of my insecurities. I pray you deliver me from crime scene number two, away from fear and into the life I am called to live through you. Amen

Love

Sitting unnoticed, I listen as a woman talks to another about her meltdown the night before. I smile, as she explains almost having dinner made, after a long day at work, kids ball practice, and yells for her husband, who says, can it wait a minute......That was her snapping point. She then said what I am sure most of us, try too hard, mommas have, I need to ask for help. They would help if I would ask, but I just don't fell like I should have to. I mean, doesn't he see the dirty house, the kids outside past dark, and that they need a bath and dinner is still not done?

I call them mommy meltdowns and I have one about every 4 to 6 months and no, momma, they don't see the dirty dishes, loads of unfolded clothes they brush out of the way to sit and watch TV or the dirty kids that still need a bath at 9 pm, on a school night. It's just not on their radar and if you ask, they would say the house is perfect and so are you.

Later that same day, I find myself driving to pick up pizza, promising myself I will restart, Weight Watchers, again, tomorrow for the 1000th time, and tears spring to my eyes. Not because a church friend is on his way to help install a door after 8 pm, that our son kicked in this morning, desperate for keys he locked in the house, again, so he could arrive for his final exam, already late. Not because work has been challenging, or we have an early morning planned, or because my garden still has plants that need to go in the ground and I need a longer hose to water the whole garden..... but just because.
Sitting in the car, I see a group of young people walking their dogs and an older man stopped on the side of the road, talking with them. They are laughing  and smiling and the older man is petting the young folks dogs. Life is still going on, still moving. The sun is still setting and the rising moon is going to reflect the sun, in the midnight sky and so must I.

No matter what the enemy throws my way, I am still a child of God, a sinner once lost but found, and my response to stress is my testimony. So I cry alone with Savior. I give Him my grief and sorrow, my hard day, my unpleasant news, my pain, my worry, my insecurities and I wait for peace.

I pull into my drive way, wipe away tears as I watch my son, outstretched, pulling old nails out of a broken doorway, and I take the pizza from the car. He hands me my new key and I make a joke about the number of keys he had made. Our eyes meet and I love him. I love all his flaws, all his failures, and I love the hard work he is putting into fixing his mistake.

I guess this is what Savior does. When I mess up....he meets my eyes and He loves me.

We love, because He first loved us. 

I John 4:19

Grace forgave a Nation

Grace forgave a Nation

 

 Shoving pizza in my mouth, as fast as the cheesy goo will go, waiting on my computer to update, so I can Netflix the disappointment of the day away, I sigh.  What is it that I want? What is it that will make me throw open the curtains and let the, late day sun-shine, brighten the room, instead of hiding in darkness, clad in pajamas before the moon appears.

Stability…….. that is what I want. Faced with the third lay-off or “displacement”, in 5 years, I think to myself, I want stability in something.

“You do,” He that created all things, whispered, “In Me…….”

Oh, I thought and oh how I wish it was that simple. That my soul would simply remember that I do not need to fear and that God is all I need. Immediately, I think of the morning I was reading in 1^st Samuel, chapter 8 and I cried at the realization that the Israelites had the King of Kings, yet demanded an earthly King to sit on a man-made throne.

1 Samuel 8:4-7 New King James Version (NKJV)

⁴ Then all the elders of Israel gathered together and came to Samuel at Ramah, ⁵ and said to him, “Look, you are old, and your sons do not walk in your ways. Now make us a king to judge us like all the nations.”

⁶ But the thing displeased Samuel when they said, “Give us a king to judge us.” So Samuel prayed to the Lord. ⁷ And the Lord said to Samuel, “Heed the voice of the people in all that they say to you; for they have not rejected you, but they have rejected Me, that I should not reign over them.

I sat and thought of those tears, sobbing, shirt drenching tears, as I couldn’t comprehend the dismissal of, the King. I thought of everything Israel would suffer at the hands of bad kings and spoke aloud, they had God ruling over them and they choose flesh and blood. Then, when flesh and blood came to earth to save them, they rejected Him, too.

Yet, here I sit, pizza warm in the plate on my lap, watching a computer tick away minutes as updates continue to deprive me of mind numbing sanctuary, and I too reject the idea that Savior is my stability. An author I read, Ann VosKamp, refers to it as, soul amnesia. When God shows up and shows off, I am screaming it from the roof tops that God is taking care of me and I have nothing to fear, but as soon as another road block hits, I put on my mask, pretend all is okay, and sulk like a child told no.

The sad truth is, my mind has a hard time believing, the King of all Kings, is enough to make me feel secure. I cringe when I think I am nothing more than a person seeking flesh and blood in the form of never ending, visible stability. But, grace forgave a nation and grace forgives me. My God knew that our flesh is weak and he freely gives grace to cover all of our failings, including our inability to rest in His shadow when the enemy attacks.

Father, I praise you for winning in a world ruled by the prince of darkness. For stability in my King of Kings and not in worldly things. I pray for those hiding in the darkness, those that need stability, love, understanding…you are all those and more to the hurting, broken, different, created man. Thank you for being all we need, even when we reject you. Amen.

***Update, within days of writing this entry to my journal, the company I work for approached me and made a very generous offer to put me on a special project for 14 months, train me, and when I leave, I will be blessed. From 8 weeks to 14 months. Anyone else suspect that God wants me to lean on Him for stability and not the world.

40 Days

40 Days

On June the 28^th, 2015, I sat in church and God began to speak. He challenged me to get up a little earlier and have quiet time with him for 40 days. Folks, I’m not going to lie, I struggled with this and not because I already had a devoted time with God, because I didn't, but for very selfish reasons. You see, school had let out and yes, I am a working mother, but I didn’t have to be at work until 8:30, in those days, and school being out equaled as much as an extra hour of sleep for me.  That may sound petty, but trust me, there are some momma’s reading this and saying, Amen, sister…sleep on….  In the end, God won.

I began my 40 days with the 2^nd chapter of Romans. I must say, after the year I had before, I was not ready to be hit squarely in the face with scripture one.

Therefore, any one of you who judges is without excuse.

For when you judge another, you condemn yourself, since you, the judge,

do the same things.

Romans 2:1

Still healing from the beating my family had taken and getting used to being a family of 4, no longer a family of 5, I held a lot of judgement in my heart. Early morning, with hardly any sleep the night before, I forced myself out of bed an hour and a half before I had got up the Friday before, and BAM, God was reminding me that it is inexcusable to judge others.  29 meticulous bullet points later, detailing each scripture, with sleep still hovering in my eyes, and I ended two pages with the very prayers I had prayed for a year, only this time, I tried to do it without judgement.

I had mornings where getting up was hard, but I pushed myself, all summer long, adjusting the time to a more reasonable alarm, that gave me time to read and pray. 3 years and one blog later and I still have morning coffee with my Savior. You see, without the brokenness, there would be no challenge, without the challenge, there would be no morning devotion, without a morning devotion there would be no blog, and most importantly, without a devoted morning time, there would be no tear stinging story from my, freckled-faced boys Sunday school teacher, telling me how he told her that he knew when to be still and allow mom and dad to have their quiet moment with Savior.

40 days ended on August the 9^th with, 2^nd Peter chapter 2.

But there were also false prophets among the people,

just as there will be false teachers among you.

They will secretly bring in destructive heresies,

even denying the Master who bought them,

 and will bring swift destruction on themselves.

2 Peter 2:2

Morning coffee with the Savior is how I arm myself against the enemy’s attacks and false teachers. The name of this blog came from those morning devotions, where I brewed coffee and began my conversation with Him, who bled for me. I imaged how the Woman at the well felt, when she realized she was having a conversation with the promised Savior and decided that is what my mornings are like. Just Savior and me, talking, over coffee.

Today, readers, I challenge you to the same 40 day challenge, that I took three years ago. If, you don’t already have a devoted time with God, start tomorrow. Get a pen, notepad, your bible and a comfy spot, and invite Savior over for morning coffee, afternoon tea, or evening warm milk. I promise, you’ll look forward to day, 41……

Father, I pray for the people that accept this challenge and I pray they seek you, when they begin. I pray for the warriors you are rising up to pray against the enemy attacks. Amen.

Happy Easter from Morning Coffee at the Well.

Isaiah 53

53 Who has believed our report?
And to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed?
² For He shall grow up before Him as a tender plant,
And as a root out of dry ground.
He has no form or comeliness;
And when we see Him,
There is no beauty that we should desire Him.
³ He is despised and rejected by men,
A Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.
And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him;
He was despised, and we did not esteem Him.

⁴ Surely He has borne our griefs
And carried our sorrows;
Yet we esteemed Him stricken,
Smitten by God, and afflicted.
⁵ But He was wounded for our transgressions,
He was bruised for our iniquities;
The chastisement for our peace was upon Him,
And by His stripes we are healed.
⁶ All we like sheep have gone astray;
We have turned, every one, to his own way;
And the Lord has laid on Him the iniquity of us all.

⁷ He was oppressed and He was afflicted,
Yet He opened not His mouth;
He was led as a lamb to the slaughter,
And as a sheep before its shearers is silent,
So He opened not His mouth.
⁸ He was taken from prison and from judgment,
And who will declare His generation?
For He was cut off from the land of the living;
For the transgressions of My people He was stricken.
⁹ And they^[a] made His grave with the wicked—
But with the rich at His death,
Because He had done no violence,
Nor was any deceit in His mouth.

¹⁰ Yet it pleased the Lord to bruise Him;
He has put Him to grief.
When You make His soul an offering for sin,
He shall see His seed, He shall prolong His days,
And the pleasure of the Lord shall prosper in His hand.
¹¹ He shall see the labor of His soul,^[b] and be satisfied.
By His knowledge My righteous Servant shall justify many,
For He shall bear their iniquities.
¹² Therefore I will divide Him a portion with the great,
And He shall divide the spoil with the strong,
Because He poured out His soul unto death,
And He was numbered with the transgressors,
And He bore the sin of many,
And made intercession for the transgressors.

Morning Coffee at the Well.: What lies beneath?

Morning Coffee at the Well.: What lies beneath?: What lies beneath?              I have always loved to write. My first memories of writing involve a front yard tree. I woul...