Uprooted

Uprooted

 

I felt the familiar tug on my heart, as I collected dirty clothes, dreading where the Lord was leading me. I knew what I needed to do- you see I heard, God loud and clear, this morning during worship. The Preacher, in an effort to answer the question around why terrorist attached during 09/11, took us to James chapter 4. Scripture that was intended to talk about evil in the world and the reason other countries hate us, had instead stabbed me.  

What is the source of wars and fights among you? Don’t they come from the cravings that are at war within you?

James 4:1

There it was, that stab that I talked about. The word cravings stood out to me and spoke to my heart in a place I thought I had long since felt peace and forgiveness. I knew what I would have to do, even then, and I blocked it out and tried to listen to the rest.

You desire and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and war.

You not have because you do not ask. You ask and don’t receive because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may

spend it on your evil desires.

James 4: 2-3

There it was, the stabbing that continued. “You ask and don’t receive because you ask with wrong motives…….” I put my shield of dirty laundry down, grabbed my bible, pen, and made my way for my prayer room. I closed the door and looked to the night stand for the prayer room journal and flipped to the next empty page. I wrote out the scripture above and then without hesitation I began to write truth. I began to write the real desire in my heart surrounding what I really want to happen to the person in this world that the enemy has used to tear apart my family. It wasn’t hard, the pen flowed quickly, as I knew exactly, the revenge I wanted to see my God strike, with the full force of His Angel army, on them. I wrote on and on and then I stopped. I took a deep breath as the revenge seeped from the ink. I didn’t need to go back and read it; that revenge has rooted in my heart for years. I exhaled, and began to ask God for forgiveness. I’ve been asking God to restore my family, when in my own heart, what I am really asking for is, to win. I had to take a minute to write down what I really want. That was the revolting part. The revenge came so easy, but to write out what I really wanted, the healing, I really want for my family, well, that took a little time.

 A prayer warrior and friend from church told me that God had laid it on her heart to pray specially that the darkness rooted in the heart of the person that has caused our family to be torn apart,  be pulled out. Confirmation of this prayer has come from a weekly devotion I read. I never thought that any of the conversation around evil taking root was for me personally.  I had allowed the enemy to root such revenge in my heart that God had to show me what it was doing to me. I explained it away by reading the Psalms and seeing how King David ask God to strike down his enemies. The difference was that God knew David’s heart; just, as God knows mine.

Teach me Your way, O Lord: I will walk in Your Truth:

Unite my heart to fear your name.

Ps 86: 11

We must trust that when we confess He is our help – that He will help no matter what happens. We must trust that He will make what is wrong, right. We must also recognize when we have allowed evil thoughts to take root in our own heart.

I sat, closed my eyes, ask God to remove the root and then I imaged Jesus pulling the root from my heart. The anger is still there and only God can help me with that. I know that God is protecting us and working to restore our family. I am encouraged when He takes time to help me grow through this trial. I see it as one more way God is using something the enemy intended for bad, to be good.

What is the root in your heart? Do you have resentment, jealousy, hate, shame, fear, guilt, pain, etc.… Whatever it is; Jesus Christ can uproot it from your heart.

Father, I thank you for showing me the root of revenge in my heart and for uprooting it. I pray that if the roots try to take hold again, that you are there to weed them out. I pray for those reading today that you show them the roots in their own hearts. Let’s begin to uproot evil so that we can be vessels for you. Amen