The Samaritan Woman. Part 2

The Samaritan Woman. Part 2

“How is it that you, a Jew, ask for a drink from me, a Samaritan woman?” she ask Him.

For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.

John 4:9

I have a great circle of girlfriends. We laugh and cry together. We share each other’s burdens, without judgement of each other. I know I am blessed with a circle that most women long for. I trust some with everything and others I trust with some. The things I share with some, I don’t share with all and over the years the level of confidentiality has shifted and changed. A few years ago a friend of mine confessed sin from her past. I don’t want to bring the specific sin into the blog, because I have learned, that all sin is sin. In the eyes of our Savior, He died for sin, all of them, and each stripe he took was no different, therefore no sin is less or greater.

The sin she confessed was shocking to me. It was not one that I could imagine her going through and being uncomfortable with the confession, I immediately felt I, too, needed to share something personal in my life. I felt silly as soon as the words were out of my mouth and sat unknowing what to say next. She really didn’t need me to say anything, as she told me the circumstances surrounding it. When her story was finished, she ask me if I thought less of her. No, I told her. I did however feel extreme grief for my friend and what she had been through, the mask she wore to hide the shame of a sin, long forgiven by our Savior, and that we live in a society where followers of Christ have to wonder if other Followers will think less of them.

Now many Samaritans from the town believed in Him because of what the woman said when she testified,

“He told me everything I ever did.”

John 4:39

After I gave my life to Christ, I realized that my shame had become my testimony. I still feel shame when I remember an event from my past or when a consequence from my past rears its ugliness. Being forgiven doesn’t mean we forget the sin, it means God does. It also doesn’t mean that the enemy won’t try to hurt us with shame long forgiven. I wish that we all could as easily remove our mask as the Samaritan Woman did. After meeting the Savior, she showed no more shame, she went to the people, she had just been hiding from, and not only told them about meeting the Messiah, but she testified, that He told her everything she had ever done.... In other words, she was no longer ashamed, because the promised Messiah had offered her eternal life.

For it is contained in scripture:

Look! I lay a stone in Zion, a chosen and honored cornerstone, and

  the one who believes in Him will never be put to shame!

1 Peter 2:6

But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people

For His possession, so that you may proclaim the praises of the One who called you out

of the darkness.

1 Peter 2:9

A chosen race; we are chosen by God into a royal priesthood. Jesus called us out of the darkness and into the light so that when we believe in Him, we can never be put to shame. That is not to say that this world will not try to shame us. The enemy will fight us and try to make us feel less than we are. The enemy wants us to hold onto shame because he knows he can’t have us. We have a ticket to Heaven and he doesn’t like it. He doesn’t want us to share the Good News because he wants to take as many as he can with him to eternal Hell. Don’t listen to the lie of the enemy. As Christ followers, we don’t have to be ashamed.

I cannot tell you how many times I have shared a shameful story only to see relief as someone shared their painful story.  Your pain may be exactly what a lost person needs to see in order to find their way out of the darkness. The lost need to see us as who we are; sinners forgiven by grace. When all we show is a mask of perfection to the lost, they are too ashamed to set free the shame that binds them to the darkness. It’s not their sin, that binds them, because we all sin and fall short of the glory of God, it is their shame, which prevents them from accepting the path of forgiveness.

Take off your mask! Testify about how God saved you and brought you out of the shame you once had. Find a group of friends that you can laugh with until your belly hurts and cry with until no more tears will fall.

Father, I thank you for my girlfriends. All of them! I have been blessed with girlfriends in each walk of my life and I thank you for that. I life up the person reading this right now that wears a mask to hide the truth. Put someone in their life, right now, to help unmask the shame. Amen.

Relief through the Rain

Relief through the Rain

 

Romans 12:12

Rejoice in hope; be patient in affliction; be persistent in prayer

I love the spring, especially, when it’s time to get my trusted tiler out and begin to tear up the land to make way for vegetables to start new life. I love the feel of the dirt on my feet and the sweat that runs from my face. It is the one time that my muscles are sore, that I truly understand those that live for exercise and love the pain it causes the next day. I have learned, in the years that I have gardened, that just watering it is not enough, a good crop needs water from the Heavens. A nice, slow, steady rain. I look forward to those dark clouds rolling in after a long hot day. Clouds, normally, mean rain and relief from the heat.

After I tiled the garden recently, I watched as storm clouds began to roll in and thought this is great and just what I need. I had spent hours tiling my garden that morning, breaking up the soil around the plants and taking the weeds out. After a good tiling, the garden soaks up rain and new growth is seen quickly.  As I watched the sunlight start to break up those clouds and the darkness grow farther away from my home and my garden, I prayed God, send the storm, please, send the rain. It struck me, almost immediately, that in life we probably never ask God to send the Storm? We pray that He help us through life’s storms, we pray He remove it, and we even pray that He teach us the lesson we need to learn from this storm, so it can be over quickly.

Proverbs 3: 5-6

Trust in the Lord with wall your heart, and do not rely on your own understand;

Think about Him in all your ways, and He will guide you on the right paths.

Send the storm God?  When life is good and all of our cares are taken care of, why would we ever ask for or need a storm? Life is so much better when there are no storms, isn’t it? What happens when you are faced with a situation where you have to make a decision that will bring the storm? Maybe you didn’t ask for it, but you know that if you choose to bring this to light or have that difficult conversation; the storm will come. As a parent, there have been, so many times, that I uncovered or was told about something my child was doing and I had two choices. One, I could pretend I did not know or two, I could confront it. Confrontation would lead to a storm in the house for a while, anyone with children has had to make that tough decision. While children are young, the storm only last a few minutes or until nap time is over, but with teen-agers or young adults, the storms can result in life changes; some you may not be ready for.

 I can remember going downstairs one morning and smelling a familiar odor, I debated on questioning the scent, because honestly, I just didn’t want to know.  I was told it was the Oreo cookies my son and his friend had been eating the night before, I, thankfully and foolishly, accepted that excuse, grateful for another conversation, I would not have to face that day.  I regret that decision and pray none of you make the same choice. Don’t believe the Oreo lie! J 

It wasn’t until our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, died on the cross, that we were redeemed. If He had not endured the storm of the cross, we would not have eternal life. The Creator of the world could have walked this earth as a King and been waited on hand and foot. He could have chosen to be born of noble birth and had a life of luxury. He could have been rescued from the cross by 10,000 angels, whom I am sure watched as the son of God was murdered, waiting for the command. Jesus choose the storm. He was born knowing the only solution was the storm, He created the world and all of us, knowing it would lead to the storm.

^{1 Peter 1:6-7}

You rejoice in this, though now for a short time you have had to struggle in various trials so that the genuineness of your faith—more valuable than gold,

Which perishes though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory, and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.

What happens when we don’t have a storm? Last year was one of the hottest years I can remember since I have been gardening. Not only, was it 100 degrees from May until August, but it did not rain for weeks and weeks. It was so hot, that when the temperatures finally started to dip into the low 90’s, I felt chilled at night. I watered my garden every night but by noon, the next day, you couldn’t tell it had been watered. The ground was hard and cracked, the plants did not grow as tall as they normally do and I got less squash, zucchini, and cucumbers than I had in years past.  For some reason, my tomatoes took off, but I had a new enemy; Japanese beetles began to swarm the plants, not to eat the leaves, but to suck the juice out of the tomatoes. We finally did begin to get some rain, but the long hot, rainless summer took its toll. When I harvested my sweet potatoes that Fall, I had less than the year before, even though I had planted more and I also lost two mounds to hungry fire ants.

I did not do anything different last year with my garden than I have, as a matter of fact, I probably worked harder in the garden than in years past. I went out after 8, most nights and hoed the dirt around the plants to keep the soil loose, I watered every night, and I fought to keep bugs away. The garden was properly fertilized, but it was missing the storm. It is through the storm that my garden receives the rain it needs to grow, the strength to stand during heavy winds, and the nutrients to produce fruit. Sound familiar? The unsettling lesson in this is that we, like a garden, need the storms of life to make us strong. The ultimate storm was our Savior, enduring unimaginable pain and humiliation to die on a cross, so that we, who believe, have eternal life.

John 16:33

I have told you these things so that in Me you may have peace.

You will have suffering in this world. Be courageous! I have conquered the world.

The lesson I learned from my garden, last year, is that without consistent storms, the garden was unprepared for the enemies that attacked. Fire ants are not new to the garden, but due to the long periods of no rain, they were able to set up camp under the soil and cause the fruit to rot, a new enemy came after the fruit of tomatoes and destroyed several, before I was able to figure out how to stop them and, when the storms did roll in, the plants were not strong enough to with stand. Several drown, fell over, or the fruit it produced was hard or rotten from within. ‘

Father, I praise you for the storms that refine me, strengthen me, and prepare me for your ministry. I praise you for seeing me through the battle and coming out stronger than I was going in. I pray for the readers understanding, that while we don’t need to pray you bring us a storm, that when we are faced with confronting a situation, or letting it go for fear of opposition, that we do what is right. We trust you fully, to see us through. Amen.

Count It All Joy

Count It All Joy

I sat in a room with a supervisor listening in disbelief as she criticized me and everything I did. She used things I had said in passing against me and twisted my words to make me look like a performance nightmare. I knew in my heart and soul that I did not deserve this harsh treatment, yet I had no answers to her pointed questions. The two times I mistakenly attempted to defend myself she shot me down and shook her head in a manner of disappointment and disapproval. It did not take long to know where this conversation had come from, as she made sure I understood, yet threatened me all at the same time. I held my head high and began to give short but respectful answers. I began to hear, “no weapon formed against me shall prosper…” in my head and repeated it over and over again, almost saying it out loud during the long meeting. I signed my name to a document agreeing to her terms and walked out of her room, being told that I had better not show out, like the last time. Yes, I had failed many times before to hold myself together and made sure the whole office knew that I was upset. Another threat. Oh how she was using trusted conversations against me. The worst part was, I had known better, yet my flesh failed me and I gave her the upper hand.

When the work day ended and I was finally home and calm after many tears, I went to my journal and looked back on my quickly written words from that morning’s devotion. I had over slept and my prayer time was cut in half. I remember that morning thinking, how may Psalms do I have to read about the enemy chasing King David and him crying out for help? By evening, I was thankful for the heartache of that loved King.

Psalm 71 : 3

Be my strong refuge, To which I may resort continually;

You have given the commandment to save me,

For You are my rock and my fortress.

My Rock and Fortress knew exactly what I needed to start my day, yet I had forsaken quality time with my Savior that morning. I slept very well that night, after writing in my journal and vowing to put my trust in the Lord. By morning, however, my flesh began to fail and the butterflies in my stomach were back, as I tried to make sense of all that was happening.

Psalm 71: 14

But I will hope continually, and will praise You yet more and more.

I read my devotion, wrote in my journal and then headed outside to the front porch. I love to listen to the birds sing early in the morning as the sun rises over the land. The sound of the birds was soon replaced with this beautiful chorus of scripture in my head. I heard the scripture coming from all around me just like the birds singing.  I wish I could have recorded them, so fast and so many all at once, yet in separate time. When I began to hear the birds singing again, I had a soft flow of tears gently falling from my eyes, even now, I feel the tears as I remember the chorus of scripture from that morning. God singing to me, nothing more beautiful has ever filled my thoughts.  I could hardly speak, through the tears, to my husband, as I told him about it.

Ephesians 1: 11-12

We have also received an inheritance in Him, predestined according to the purpose of the One who works out everything in agreement with the decision of His will, so that we who had already put our hope in the Messiah might bring praise to His glory.

My God, has been glorified through this situation. I learned a valuable lesson about fully trusting the Lord, and yet, this flesh is weak and when the next storm comes, I can only pray I stand strong. We have been predestined to receive the inheritance of God. All of us, not just the ones that accept this gift, all of us. Sadly, many choose to walk away from their inheritance. I fear for the person I spoke about above.  I can only pray for her and hope that my strength in Christ, will one day lead her to the Father. I ask you all join me in prayer for her, as well as others that neglect to collect on their inheritance.

James 1: 2-4

Consider it a great joy, my brothers, whenever you experience various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.  

But endurance must do its complete work, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing.

When we are faced with a storm so strong that it threatens to tear us apart, it is hard to consider those gale force winds to be, “great joy”. The hardest part for me is to just let go. I still want to go to that place of anger and defend myself. My God took me from Egypt and delivered me into a promised land and yet I dwell on the pain of the past.

In, Ephesians 1: 12, scripture tells us that our faith in the Messiah serves to bring praise to His glory. This is the road that we, as followers of Christ, should take when a wrong is done. Praise the Father for His blessings leave the anger behind. It only serves to cause pain and sickness.

Imagine, if you will, that you have a car that is constantly breaking down, it gets terrible gas mileage, needs new tires, the paint is rusted and it runs hot most days. You pray for a new car, long for one and then out of nowhere and just when that car has completely fallen apart, someone gives you a new car. Great gas mileage, new tires, the paint job is fresh, and it purrs like a kitten sitting in a warm lap. How do you think the giver would feel, if as you drive around in the new car, you do nothing put complain about the old one? Never praising the blessing of the new car because you are focused on the old one?

Father, I praise you for the blessings. I humbly accept the storm as my education and count it pure joy that you would see fit to use storms as means to educate me and allow me to be a servant of our Lord, Jesus Christ. I pray for any reading this today, that they praise you for blessings and storms.  Amen.

Happy Mother’s Day

                                                                                                                                                                              

She opens her mouth with wisdom and loving instruction is on her tongue.

Proverbs 31:26

Mother’s Day weekend and early morning before my first cup of coffee the tears begin to fall. She, my mother, has been gone for so long, I often wonder if the tears come from missing her or for her missing out on what my life has become.  I long  to introduce her to my children, laugh as she kisses their newborn feet, and then cry as I tell her of the struggles I have with them as they grow older.  I want them to know her. I want to know what type of Grandmother she would have been.

I also want to give her my verbal forgiveness, for the anger and resentment, I held toward her, for leaving. She died with cancer when I was 19, left two other children under the age of adulthood and my Daddy to raise us.  

When I gave my heart to Jesus Christ, I forgave her. However, before that, as she lay dying I was angry. I remember on her last Mother’s day with us writing in her card and then verbally speaking the words to her; she just had to fight harder. “Don’t you love us? Then fight harder to beat this and stay with us?” She died just a few weeks later. I still see the smile on her face as we stood in front of her with that Mother’s Day card. I wonder if she wore a mask of motherhood when she read the words and if she was thinking, if only we could understand how tired her body was and how hard she was fighting.

I can still see the brokenness of my sister as she screamed at the graveside that our mother was afraid of the dark, and watched as Daddy went to her, I still see my baby brother of 12, sobbing weeks later in his bed over some little thing he had said to our mother and regretted with all of his young years. I felt like I had been pushed into adulthood but had no way of knowing how to heal my own wounds. I stood in the living room several weeks later and screamed at the God I knew from church but not the God I now hold in my heart. “Why?” I screamed over and over again. “If you could have healed her, why did you let her die? Answer me now!” I demanded. Then the threats began. “Answer me or I will never step foot in your church again….” Oh how I am overwhelmed with joy that God only watched as I melted down in the living room. How many times have our own children yelled in anger things they do not mean? The silence was haunting as my tantrum ended. I stood there for what felt like an eternity, expecting God to send down a burning bush and explain it all. It took years before I stepped into a church with an open heart. When I surrendered to my Savior, He began the healing process and the life of destruction I had been living was finally over.

The Lord is near the brokenhearted; He saves those crushed in spirit.

Psalms 34:18

Broken, we were all so terribly broken and I, was so angry that she would choose death over us. Twenty three years later and I still find private moments where the tears come without permission. They flow ever so violently down my face, like the aftermath of a summer storm, into an idle stream.

I have long since forgiven my mother for leaving. I understand that death has no care for what it leaves behind, especially not broken children. It was years before I stopped identifying as the young girl that lost her mother and identified as a strong survivor, saved by grace. Our God has an amazing way of healing the brokenhearted.  

For me, living is Christ and dying is gain.

Philipians 12:21

I leave you all with this on Mother’s Day weekend. Living is Christ, to do His Will and to love others, that they also may know our Savior, Jesus Christ. Dying is gain, to be in the presence of our Savior, Jesus Christ. To all you brokenhearted over the absence of your Mother this weekend, know that she has gained Christ and that we are to be as Christ, by sharing His love.

If you are fortunate to still have your mother on this earth, go to her and spend time. Don’t let life get in your way. If you harbor anger, forgive her. There is no anger worth holding on to. If your mother is with mine, find a moment to mourn for her, let the tears flow, and then remember a time that makes you laugh until your belly hurts.

Father, I life up the brokenhearted to you. Give them peace as they lay flowers on their mother’s grave or spend a few moments reflecting on her. Let us find comfort in her gain and the knowledge that great reunion will happen one day. Amen.

God our Avenger

God our Avenger

“Friends, do not avenge yourselves; instead, leave room for His wrath. For it is written: Vengeance belongs to Me; I will repay, says the Lord.

Romans 12:19

I was winning this argument. Oh the words I was lashing out and the wit I used to cut her down. She had no come back because she knew I was right and this argument was taking place in my head. This argument went on and on with each word reinvented until it was perfect. I had or still have this argument in my head, not every morning, but most. This person that has hurt me and my family, I argue with and I win. I tell her what a horrible person she is and how God is going to take care of her.

 Right after she hurt our family I had these arguments daily. Lashing out at her the only way I could…in my head. I envisioned scenarios that would make me smile as she was cut deep in her heart; in the same way she has cut our family.  The thing is, these make believe arguments do not make me feel better. In the end, I am still left with brokenness and longing for the day that my God, avenges this situation. I have prayed for her and our pain, but the flesh in me seems to go back to the arguments in my head as I impatiently wait for God to right this wrong. I do know with all that is in me, that my God is greater than this pain and that He has a plan. I know that this wrong will be made right and that He will receive glory. I already see how God is using this pain to grow my personal relationship with Him.

“But, If your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he is thirsty, give him something to drink. For in so doing you will be heaping fiery coals on his head.”

Romans 12:20

I don’t really want to admit this, but at one time, my arguments with her turned into visions of her being ill. In this version of my vengeance, I was taking care of her. This is better, right? God has made her body sick and I step in to feed her and give her drink. That way I can watch as fiery coals burn on top of her head. Oh, how I have so much to learn. That is not why God wants us to care for our enemy. Although it may be enough incentive for some of us, just to see those red hot ambers!

God wants us to love our enemy, even when they have oppressed us, hated us, hurt us. He wants true forgiveness so that when we see our enemy in need, we are able to go to them with a true heart of sympathy. Our enemy will know if we truly care about their needs or if we are just waiting on those hot goals to drop on their head.

“Then I will purify them and put them to the test, just as gold and silver are purified and tested .They will pray in my name, and I will answer them. I will say, “You are my people,” and they will reply “You, Lord, are our God!”

Zechariah 13:9

So why hot coals? The Lord has to know that for those of us that have a hard time letting go of anger, that this would only please us to reap some burning hot coals on someone’s head. Think about heat and being refined? The Bible talks about going through the Refiner’s fire, many times. These are just my thoughts and it helps me to look at hot coals as a path to salvation instead of painful revenge, caused by my act of love. When we forgive our enemy and show them love, even when they deserve none, it causes them to be uncomfortable. (Hum just a side note…know anyone else that deserved no love, forgiveness or mercy, yet Jesus still died on that cross? Should not be hard to find, just take a glance in any mirror.)  They begin to question your motive and why you would be kind to them, even when they have been so mean to you. Trust me, even when someone has wronged you and told lies to cover up their own lie; they still know the truth, and so does He. Your kindness will bother them and the hot coals begin to do their magic. They begin to refine that hardening heart and soften it to the truth. If your enemy allows the full refining process to continue, they will seek forgiveness and enter into the Kingdom, which should be our prayer, for all of our enemies. I say, allows, because God gives us free will. Your enemy can still refuse God.

“Do not be conquered by evil, but conquer evil with good.”

Romans 12:21

Only a loving God, could tell us to conquer evil with good. This enemy that I spoke of in the beginning is not someone easy to love. The Lord has completely removed her from our lives and protected us from the lies she tells. I still cry out to the Lord for restoration and deliverance from the pain she has caused our family. I have good friends that I know call out our name in prayer and remind me that God has a plan and His glory will shine through this. This is my Refiner’s fire. This pain and void I feel in my life is the reason for this blog. The reason I get up 30 minutes early, every morning to study God’s word, and the reason new ministries have been brought into my life. I say this to whomever is reading this and does not understand the fire they are going through. While I desperately want this season to be avenged, I also cherish the friendship I have found with my Savior through it. I went to church on Sunday morning, I sang in the choir, I listened to Christian music, and I opened my bible when I needed something. True worship came with this trail. True friendship with my Lord is a result of my dependence on Him. He is my protection, my shield, my teacher, my encourager…. The list can go on. As a new Christian in 2001, He quickly became my Provider and I was happy with that, but over the last two years, He has become so much more. I challenge you to seek the Father. I understand better than most that our flesh is our weakness. Just because your flesh fails you does not mean you have a lack of faith. Faith comes in knowing that even through the darkest moments, our God will be victorious.

Father God, we face so many enemies along the way of life. It seems that at the times we obey you most, the fire is more intense. So many times, we wish to just stop and no longer walk through the flames. Your word protects us with a shield from the hottest of flames. Be with my brothers and sisters, as we all face our adversaries and let us show them true love and pray that they too will accept Salvation through our Lord, Jesus Christ. Amen