Unchanging Love

Unchanging Love

As far as the east is from the west, so far has He

 removed our transgressions from us.

Psalm 103:12

As I got out of my car, my Aunt approached. She told me, that she had already told my Grandparents the news I had come to tell them. I stood there with her, looking toward the Gazebo where I had spent much of my childhood, playing, laughing and talking on Sunday afternoons. My boyfriend and I found out the day he left for Army basic training as I was standing at MEPS, in Charlotte, NC, with tears in my eyes as he was waiting to leave. The Doctor called to confirm what the little pink line had already told us. The next days were a blur as I was left to tell family, alone, though not by his choice.  My Dad took the news okay, as I ask him if he wanted to be a Grandfather, too ashamed, to just tell him I was expecting. My boyfriend’s family was easy, as they had opened their doors to me and allowed me to live with them until he returned from Basic. My Grandparents, were something different. With them, it was as if I forgot that I would have to tell them too. I felt like it would change me,  from the well-loved little girl that used to watch the red caboose with my Pawpaw, in Belmont, to an unlovable,  unwed 20 year old, expecting a Great grandbaby.

My Aunt walked with me, slowly, telling me that the hard part was done. She also said something I have never forgotten, “Good girls, get caught.” I didn’t completely understand that until years later. I realized that I did have options, though none of them ever entered my mind. This baby was mine and he was my responsibility to take care of. I walked in the square, white gazebo and sat down in a white wooden chair facing my grandparents, swinging the in the porch swing. My Mawmaw was looking down at her feet, as she often did and my Pawpaw looked me in the eyes with all the love of the man that had on several occasions,  raced with me to the railroad tracks, me in the front seat, standing up, with, only, his strong arm for protection, to make sure I saw the red caboose before the train was out of sight. No judgement showed in his eyes, just perfect unchanging love.

 As a father has compassion on his children,

So the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him. For He knows

What we are made of, remembering that we are dust.

Palm 103:13-14

I imagine that is the way our Savior looks at us when we fail. If we all could love the way my Pawpaw did in that very moment, without judgement in his eyes, without hurt or disgust, just love. How much more would our lights shine in this dark world, if we could love in that way. A few years back we had a need to talk to a counselor with my son. The counselor ask him if he thought he was loved and he said yes. I know my parents love me, no matter what I do. I remember thinking we must have done something right, because even through the storm, he knew he was loved. Much like I did, many years before, in that little white gazebo.

Dear friends, let us love one another, because love is from God, and everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.

The one who does not love does not know God, because God is love.

1 John 4: 7-8

It is hard, at times, to remember that all sin is equal in the eyes of God. It is even harder to watch a follower of Christ fall and sin and love them where they are. That is exactly what God wants from us. To look into the eyes of His people and love them where they are. It is not our job to change them, it is only for us to love them and show them the light of Christ. I saw true love on that hot summer day in August, as I listened as my Grandparents loved me, where I was. They treated my son with the same love they gave me and they were proud Great Grandparents when he made his debut in to this world. Just, might I add, as the rest of my family. The shame I felt as I went to Doctor appointments’, still baring my maiden name, was not due to anyone in my life, it was my own shame.  There were people that shunned me but honestly, that is a whole other blog. We must remember, that God is love. Unfortunately, due to man and his failures, the world does not always see God as love, they instead see Him as judgement, shame, and hate. We can change that image by loving people, not after they are clean, but where they are.

Hatred stirs up conflicts,

But love covers all offenses.

Proverbs 10:12

Wise words to live by. Somedays we just have to bite or tongues and show love because as we are reminded in John 15:13,” Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” That friend was Jesus Christ and He laid down His life for all men that we might know of His unchanging love.

After my Pawpaw passed, I drove to Belmont, parked and sat in my car waiting for the train to pass. No trains went by that morning and finally, tear soaked and exhausted, I put the car in drive and drove home. I’ve seen trains, even cabooses, but since that day I have not parked and sat to wait. I pray for trains in Heaven, so that when I am reunited with my Pawpaw, we can watch one together. I hope he puts his arm around my waist, and we just watch.   

Lord, I lift up those in need of a reminder of your love today. Send me, Lord, to love someone that needs to see your light. I pray I hold my tongue of judgement and just love them where they are. Amen.