Never Changing

Driving down a road less traveled my heart hurt as I saw progress, replacing trees with neighborhood roads, old silos, once tall and proud, with round-abouts, and pastured fields with small-yard homes. Gone were the country roads, lined with trees and painted white farm houses.

As a child, we had very little and rarely did we go places on weekends, but our mother did like to find change in the couch, gather up old coke bottles, and take us for a drive through the country. We would stop at a family owned store to turn in old coke bottles for new ones and a piece of candy or slice of cheese, if enough change was found.
After Momma died, I too, would take drives through the country, to clear my head. I did a lot of thinking on that country road  and I those roads hold a lot of imagination. I used to dream of bare-foot runs through the wheat grassy fields and hide and seek games in the old barns.

Change is a part of life and I'm normally just fine with progress. I guess seeing my sweet  country road turning into a round-about neighborhood was like saying good-bye to my mother again.

Hope is knowing that Jesus Christ is the same, yesterday, today, and tomorrow. No matter how much this world changes, His love , Word, and Promises, remain the same.

Father, when life changes, let us find comfort knowing that you will always be the same. Amen.

A Prayer that changed my life.

When I first got saved I joined the choir at, Life Church, under the leadership of Brother Cy Harris. I was a young divorced, single mother of a very wild little boy. One Sunday, I sang in the choir and watched my sweet little man standing on the arm of the pew, out of reach of the children's director, that so kindly allowed him to sit with her, and he was surfing on one leg with both arms out for balance. The Pastor started to hand me the microphone, thinking I was going to testify, when he saw my sweet little monkey. I walked without taking my eyes off that sweet child until I got to him, grabbed him by the ear and took him somewhere private. Needless to say, he didn't surf from the pews anymore and, in my own pity party, I thought that once again the church had another reason to look down on the sinner in the choir.
You see, being raised in the South, with religious conviction, I understood that my son arriving 4 months after I got married, was a sin, and I also understood that the divorce that took place 18 months later was even more a sin. It didn't help that on the  Easter morning, when I was drug into church, the day I got saved, that I had been hung over and I was only there to keep a promise, made by a co-worker, to another co-worker. Glory to God I went to church that day! So, what I am trying to say is that I didn't feel like I belonged with all of the good Godly people in that church. They never did anything to judge me and each and every one of them loved me, but the Enemy, kept reminding me that I was not good enough.
We had a revival where we focused on a different ministry each night. When it was the choirs night, Cy spoke, and then he came down and he prayed over each choir member. I have no idea what he said to the other members, but I will never forget what he said to me. He prayed specifically for me as a single mother, that the Lord would help me. He didn't pray for my sin as a single mother, he prayed that God bless me, as a single mother. He said the it must be difficult to be a single mom and for God to give me patience and provide. You see , the enemy had convinced me that all the church saw was a sinner that deserved the hard life. But, praise God, on that night, I realized that God didn't see a sinner, he saw a young woman, covered by the blood of His son, saved, redeemed and set free!
I also saw the Love of Christ poured out in the heart of a man of God. He saw me as an equal. A sister, glory bound, to sing in a heavenly choir. I sure do hope they sing, Victory in Jesus, in heaven! Okay, that was off subject.

When you see a sister or brother in Christ, do you see them as your equal or are you only looking at their sin?

Father God, thank you for the reminder tonight that we are all sinners, and by the Grace of God we can be set free to live in Glory for eternity. May my eyes only see people the way you do. Amen.

Bottom of the Mountain

I found this sweet journal entry from November of 2006, in one of my older journals,  although the story is much older. The man in the story is my dearly departed, Uncle Kirk. I've never heard anyone say a bad thing about this man. If ever there was an angel among men, it was him.

At 19 years old an ice storm hit and the store I worked in decided to close early. Viewing this as getting off work early, I got into my car and headed home, with no thought to the direction I should take. I just headed my normal route, instead of planning the safest. There were several ways to get home, but the fasted was the most dangerous, for the icy conditions on the roadway. You see, the fastest route, took me around a small mountain and down a curvy hill.

I came to a four way stop - two directions would have taken me home, yet, without thought I still choose the short way home. I glanced to my right and saw my Uncle, whom had picked up his wife and son, and he was also heading home. He, was planning to take the safer, longer route home, which happened to be across the street from my home. However, when my uncle saw me turn toward the faster route, he choose to follow me. It didn't take long for me to realize my mistake and I was very thankful that my uncle was following slowly behind me. I did okay down the first hill, but as I came back up and around a curve, I saw a dump truck turned over on it's side. It was then that I realized the danger in my decision. I began to panic and I knew it was too late to turn around, so I stopped. I began to cry and decided not to go any further. My uncle, had also stopped and he realized I was not going to drive any further. He got out of his car and came to my window. He told me that he would be with me, but I was going to have to make it to the bottom of this mountain. Once at the bottom, he knew a safe place to park my car and then he would take me the rest of the way home. Which, included another small mountain and curves.

I had to finish the journey. I often wonder what as going through my uncles mind as he made the decision to follow me, with his family in the car, down the unsafe road. He knew a better way but he could not tell me. ( this was before everyone had a cell phone in the car)

Is this how God feels when we take the wrong path? Isn't it good to know that even when we take the wrong path, God is right there with us. Slowly following us and there to take us down the mountain, to safety, just like my uncle did.

Sometimes, we must reach the bottom, before God can take us safely back up the mountain.

Father God, I thank you for lesson learned through mistakes made along the way. I thank you for angels that look out for us and take care of us when we make bad decisions. Amen

Give Therapy

 

Each and every August, something wonderful happens in my life. No, it isn’t the end of summer, turning into the highly anticipated, apple picking season, it isn’t school starting back, or even celebrating my son’s birthday. It is football season – more specifically, Friday night football. Imagine me breathing in deeply and letting out a sigh of joy as I typed that. It’s not that I enjoy this event or that it’s time with my family, no, in fact it is the exact opposite. For me, Friday night football means hours of me time. As my husband and son run off to watch the home team, I order junk food, put on pajamas, grab luscious yarn, and sit in front of the television, and binge watching, new episodes of last year’s programs. I don’t worry about housework, dinner, laundry, or honestly, much of anything. It is a night all about me…..that normally ends with my family rushing in to tell me (eye roll) play by play of who won.

Sitting on the couch this morning, with a warm purring kitty in my lap, a freckled faced boy smashed up close, and a warm cup of vanilla coffee pressed to my lips, I thought, this is not the morning I had planned, as I eyed my bible, wishing for a quiet morning. Then a happy kitty smiled up at me and a freckled faced boy, explained, yet another video game to me and I let out a joyful sign, realizing I didn’t want to be anywhere else. I was giving a warm lap to a kitty and a listening ear to a boy. I reached for a devotional and read two pages, which ended with this scripture and more importantly, this revelation.

In every way I’ve show you that by laboring like this, it is necessary to help the weak

 and to keep in mind the words of the Lord Jesus, for He said,

‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’

Acts 20:35

Have you ever had a really bad day and someone turn to you and say you need shop therapy? Maybe you are out and see something you really want and decide to put it on your credit card because after all, it has been a bad week and this will make you feel so much better. Does it? What if, instead of shop therapy for a bad day, we had “give therapy”? Could you imagine a world where you had a horrible day and instead of stopping off at the bakery for a double stuffed chocolate cupcake, you took a dozen cupcakes to the local police department, as a thank you? Or, what if instead of buying a new outfit, you took a bag full of under garments to a local shelter? Instead of rewarding yourself with a steak dinner, you buy a grocery cart full of fresh food and then hand it out as shoppers leave the store? How wonderful do you think that would make you feel? Sure, you have nothing new in your closet, maybe you stopped yourself from gaining an extra pound, and yes, your check book is a little lighter, but how do you think you would feel?

I’m not the person I just described in the last paragraph. No, instead I am the reward myself person that most of us are. Hence, my love of Friday night football. Let’s all try, give therapy, this week. Now, here is the catch, don’t blast it all over social media. Don’t social media live the act of kindness, just do it, and go home with a warm feeling. Tell your family, if you want to, invite your kids to join you. Just make sure that while giving, you are not looking to, “receive”, through social media, praise.

Father, may I be one to give more than to give to myself. A world were people give when they are having a bad day, would be a world filled with acts of love instead of selfishness. Amen.

This too shall pass....

This too shall pass…..

When the dark days come and the enemy whispers lies, life must go on. When all you want to do is hide under a warm blanket and lay tear stained face on a cool pillow, life must go on.

Faith is not a bunch of one line quotes about doors closing and others opening. Faith is breathing when breath is lost. Faith is walking when legs won’t move. Faith is laughing in conversation when tears threaten to drown you. Faith is living with shattered pieces. Faith is seeing light pierce through a filter of darkness, and knowing that God Almighty is the Light that overcomes.

The reflective moon found me high above as I swatted mosquitos, while walking out of a weed filled garden, earlier this summer. I held a blessed bag of harvested produce and I gazed up, looking with humidity stained sweat pouring down my face and saw the crescent moon. Lord, my voice raised, please don’t let my faith, on this day of broken dreams, reflect such little light. My child, the Lord responded, your light is blocked by the arms of the Savior, carrying you.

……tears mixed with humid sweat and salty tears began their river down my face and soaked my shirt. Words of old hymns, it is well with my soul, flood my mind and I lay the harvest down, lift my hands in dwindling sun light and sang praise into the dusk.

A few weeks, maybe even months now, I learned that my job, that God gave me less than two years ago, would end in March of 2018. I trust my Savior fully, but on that day, flesh took over and I, like anyone else, began to question. I have since found peace and know that God has a plan, but on that day, I worshiped. I stood looking at the moon and remembered my journey with the Lord about the reflective moon and there, coming from harvest, I found peace.

Father God, when the dark days come and words are not enough, I thank you, that you are always enough. I pray for the person that is facing a storm, show them peace. Let them live in the brokenness, knowing that even Savior was broken, that life could be given. Amen.

Strong Arm

Strong Arm

Early morning traffic and I sit stopped, watching a crane slowly lower a beam onto an unseen platform. I start to turn my view and then stop, hearing the sweet voice of Savior say, there is a message in this….

The crane is large and tall, standing like a giant over unfinished design. The steel beam, on scale, looks small and weightless as it gently swings by what appears to be a thin rope.  The light turns green and I press forward, still searching for the meaning. I think of how large that crane is and again of how small that steel beam appears, but I know that steel beam weighs tons. Then as I make my right turn, tears crest and thank you spills from my lips as the message is spoken in audible sound.

It takes a great big God to carry my heavy burdens.

The world sees a crane, large in statue, carrying a beam, small in comparison. Dangling weightless and guided to its new destination. The crane operator knows that the machine is perfectly balanced to carry a heavy load and that he must slowly carry that load to a new destination, so that it doesn’t spin out of control and break loose or ram into other things causing damage.

My God is the operator and strong arm of the crane that carries me. When my load is heavy, he slowly guides me to a new place and gently lowers me into perfect order. To the world I seem okay with my heavy burdens mask by smiles and laughter, but my God sees the inside and He carries me. When I try to take over the crane, life begins to spin to fast and then I crash into things, leaving brokenness in my wake.

Come to Me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

All of you, take up My yoke and learn from Me, because I am gentle

and humble in heart and you will find rest for yourselves.

For My yoke is easy and My burden light.

Matthew 11:28-30

Father, in a world where we all seek control, I ask that you give us peace in knowing that you are the operator and by trusting you, we will be placed in our perfect home. Amen.

Home with a rising sun

Early morning coffee with book opened, speaking to me about giving my broken heart to others as communion, when my devotion studying husband, exclaims he will not be on social media for a while. Conversation about the way of this world and the hate that comes from the mouth of well meaning Christ followers begins as we in agreement say that we are all brothers and sisters in Christ and should love one another.

I, in frustrated tone, say that a brother is not just the suit wearing deacon on Sunday morning, but also the heroine addict, covered in his own vomit, lying on the street somewhere. How do we teach a judgmental world that judgement is not ours? How do we show an unforgiving world, that forgiveness has already been given? How do we love when we are all so different and how, pray you, do we teach our kids? We both agree and then with coffee to lips, I hear that freckled faced boy say, “Mommy, come look!” as he puts cereal in a bowl.

“What is it?” I ask as I underline a sentence about compassion and listen as an excited voice gives the answer my husband and I seek.

“The sun is rising, Mommy!” …….oh the wisdom in those words. My heart leaped as I met my husband’s eyes and smile on both of our faces we walked to the window to see boy on tip toes peering out over the sink to see the sun rise through the trees - rising over our home, and, all of our neighbors.

Before I could even ask, the Father gently answered, “This…this is how we show love and compassion.” I needed no further instruction. Love had already shown us the way – we just needed to do it.

Long before my Great-Grand parents met, God in his mercy gave us his Son, to fulfill His destiny, to free us from sin that bound us. Jesus showed compassion and love by forgiving with no expectation of acceptance. He freely gave His life, with full knowledge that there would be those that would reject his sacrifice with their dying breath. He saw me, saw my sin, yet he still loved me.

Then, with all hope lost, on the third day, he defeated death and rose, giving hope to the lost.

The next time you see something on social media, in the paper, or hear a conversation that strikes anger, remember this….

Above all, maintain an intense love for each other, since love covers a multitude of sins. Be hospitable to one another without complaining.

1 Peter 4:8-9