A little note

Hi everyone,

Thank you all for continuing to read Morning Coffee at the Well. Most of what I write, is written at the same time that I post. I have been very busy over the last two weeks as I welcomed a new niece into the world and had the opportunity to help my brother and sis in law with their two year old. The time spent with my nieces has given me a few ideas for my next few blogs, however, I am blessed to have a full time job, faithful husband, an wonderful children, so I have not had time to sit and type it out.
Please take a moment for yourself this week to just listen to God. Maybe you're not a morning person like myself, so maybe a glass of sweet tea and God. Just sit and listen to the Father. It's always a great morning when I left the Father speak.  I look forward to getting my morning coffee talks with Jesus back this week and  new post out soon.

God Bless,
Rhonda

Scripture Stones

For God loved the world in this way: He gave His One and Only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16 HCSB

We learn this as small children, with open hearts we believe that God sent his Son so that all that believe in Him will enter eternity. The, we judge those who sin differently than us, we hate those that stand for things we do not, and we blast them, in the name of Jesus on social media, by throwing stones with scripture carved into them.

“For God did not send His son into the world that He might condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through him” John 3:17

Maybe we should teach this scripture, instead. In a world so full of self-righteous hate, maybe we should finish the chapter and not pick and choose the scripture we get to live by. How does the world read John 3:16 and yet ignore 3:17? I found that question in one of my many journals. The date simply says July 24^th with no date. My guess is that this was from 2012, as that is the date prior. Next to the question I wrote, we are not to condemn the world’s sinners, WE ARE THE WORLD’S SINNERS. 

If our own Savior, in flesh, did not come to this world to judge, who then are we to think we rank any higher than the Man at the right side of God?

I like to read the comments when I see a hot topic come across Facebook. It hurts my heart the number of times I see someone start with, and this is why I will never be a Christian.  Social Media has become the enemy’s first defense in securing sinners place in Hell. Instead of being like Christ and reaching out in love, some Christians, throw a scripture stone, to prove they are right.

Instead of using social media as a way to throw scripture stones, let’s all try to use it to show love. When that news feed comes across that upsets you, delete it. That’s right, delete it. Don’t comment. Don’t share it. Delete it. Before you start telling me that we are to show people Jesus and using scripture is a great way. Ask yourself, as you doing it to prove His love or prove you are right. If you are trying to prove you are right, put that stone away. Christ showed us who He was by acts of love.

Father God, allow us to use social media to show your love. Stop the scripture stones from flying across the internet as well intentioned Christians try to show you to a lost world. Forgive us. Amen

 

The Fog

Ever notice fog on a burden laden dewy kissed morning? Structures lay like shadows in the heavy mist as clouds lower in atmosphere to embrace the earth. Trees, fences, houses, street signs are all but ghost as the fog slowly ascends covering the eyes view of what was so clear only moments before. While walking through, one notices that the fog is not still, but moving at the pace of an half empty honey jar, sprinkled with sugar crystals. Clothing becomes moist and a chill finds its way into your bones.

This must be why Hollywood likes to use fog when showing a dark and scary scene. The fog prohibits our sight and things that we know are there, are suddenly hard to find. One, can lose their way, when stumbling through the fog.

Years ago, after I had my youngest son, I found myself in a fog. It wasn’t until I started to see the light shining through that I even realized I was in a fog. Baby blues, post-partum, mommy sadness…. Call it what you want, but I was in a fog of post-partum. The only person to notice, was my mother in law, whom I lashed out at and refused her help. Becoming angry when she would drop in or offer to help. I didn’t even realize why I was so angry and it took many years to fully wake up and kick myself for not allowing her to help me.  

This is the way many sinners walk through life. The fog of sin so thick they can’t see all of the joy and goodness that is just one acceptance away. Like me with my Mother in law, when Followers try to talk to the lost about Christ love, they lash out and many don’t even know why. For the Follower, we can see how dark and sad their lives are. Constantly searching for happiness in new relationships, new diets, new clothing trends, new food, expensive trips, you name it. But to the lost traveling through the fog, the happiness that the Son provides, it’s lost in a dense fog, covering everything.

“Listen, you blind, so that you may see. Who is blind but My servant, or deaf like My messenger I am sending? Who is blind like My dedicated one or blind like the servant of the Lord? Though seeing many things, you do not obey. Though his ears are open, he does not listen.”

Is 42: 18-20

                                                                                                                      

Remember when you see that person in the fog that Paul tells us in, Romans 3:10, There is none righteous, not one. At one time we were all blind and walking in the fog. Only God can provide the sun that will dissolve the fog and give eyes to the joy that lies ahead. Pray for those walking through the fog. Like the scripture says, though seeing many things, you do not obey. That is all of us. No one sin is greater than the other. The difference for a Follower of Christ, is that, His blood has forgiven us. Those lost in the fog, are without forgiveness.

Father God, we lift up those lost in the fog of this Principality. We pray that the joy you have given to us, will soon be accepted by them. Amen

Reflection

I waited in line at the fast food place we decided to pick up food and watched as the sky turned a magnificent shade of orange and red. The sun was making its final descent over the curve of the sky and I could help but be amazed at the awesomeness of our God. From the back of the car I heard video playing paused voice say, the sun is still up and I can see the moon. Traveling home, I too noticed the moon. I thought to myself how is it that two objects, meant to provide light, can be so different in the same sky. The sun delivers brilliant shows of color as it ascends and descends, daily. So bright, that looking into it directly results in black spots blinding for many moments afterward, slowed traffic on busy mornings, and hands providing shade when positioned in its direction. The moon cast no color during ascending and descending. The color is white or gray with light barely directing paths in the night. This, is what led me on a week long conversation in my head. Playing with words and trying to understand the difference? How could two objects, with the same purpose be so completely different?

My first thought was as a representation of God with color and beauty that governs the day and the moon was a representation of the enemy governing over the night. I played with the words but I could not get them right. I knew God wanted to see, to understand, something. Oh God of Heaven and Earth, speak…

The book I am reading during my quiet time in the morning took a turn that could only have been divine timing as the author talked of the Harvest Moon. The first morning, I did as the author and I went outside where the moon still hung in the early morning as the Sun shone colorways of orange across the sky. The moon lay perfectly still in between two leafless trees from the view point on my porch. The crisp air stung at my still wet hair, reminding me that spring had not yet come. I snapped a few pictures, desperately trying to capture what only my eye could behold. The camera eye could not capture what my God made eye could see. I lingered as long as the cool air allowed and walked back in, still unsure of the message my God was sharing.

Unable to shake this feeling that I needed to understand the moon, I googled Moon light.

“The moon shines because its surface reflects the light from the sun. And despite the fact that it sometimes seems to shine very brightly, the moon reflects only between 3 and 12 percent of the sunlight that hits it. The perceived brightness of the moon from Earth depends on where the moon is in its orbit around the planet.” (livescience.com)

The moon’s light is only a reflection of the sun…. That was something and my mind began to shift, but still, I knew I was missing it. What was God trying to tell me?

The next morning, the woman in the book lay in worship before the Lord in a sea of wheat, praising the Savior for creation. I looked toward the door and quickly shook off the small voice telling me to go outside. A car drove down the road and another voice said, they will see you. I looked back to my book, but my eyes quickly looked to the door and I began to walk. I grabbed a shawl from the coat closet and wrapped it around me, unclear of the Lord’s desire for me to walk outside. I opened the door and listened to hear if my husband was still in the shower. I saw the moon stationed between the trees and I wanted to be closer. I walked the steps down to the sidewalk and stood without moving to the grass. My mind thought of the author laying on the ground and I looked at my work clothes and dismissed this thought but instead I sunk as low as my aging knees would allow and began to thank God for the beauty I was seeing.

It was at this moment I heard God speak and tears were flowing down my face without my knowing. We are the moon….. We are a reflection of Christ. Without Christ, we are void of light and only darkness. It is his love that reflects off us and provides light into an other wise dark world. The light that shines from us depends on how close our relationship orbits with the Father, growing brighter the closer we get. Tears continued to flow as I remained low as long as my knees allowed, repeating, we are the moon, we, are the moon, thank you thank you. Just as the moon was created to reflect the sun’s light over the darkness of night, we were created to reflect the Son’s light over the dark world.  I rose slowing not wanting the moment to end, the beauty in the morning glow of revelation swept over me and tears stained my work clothes as I sat back down to enjoy the last few minutes of coffee before the busy and let the tears continue to flow.   

In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning.

All things were created through Him, and apart from Him not one thing was created that has been created.

Life was in Him, and that life was the light of men.

The light shines in the darkness, yet the darkness did not overcome it.

                                                                                        John 1: 1-5

Amen

Jehovah-Rapha: The Lord who heals

Jehovah-Rapha: The Lord who heals

The only sound I could hear was the pounding of my own heart and that still small voice pushing me forward. I questioned it shaking it off and ignoring it as I watched 9 people make their way to the front of the church. I watched confused as I heard that urging to walk forward and stand at the front of the church. It was so odd for our Pastor to call people to the front, even the day I accepted Christ I had raised a hand in blind view of a congregation. Now, as 9 others stood I knew I was number 10, as  her name came in audible sound and I realized with humbled understanding, that I did, in deed hold anger in my heart and I needed to release it by forgiving her.

For God was pleased to have all His fullness dwell in Him, and through Him to reconcile everything

to Himself by making peace through the blood of His cross- whether things on earth or things in heaven.

Colossians 1: 19-20

Right after church I drove to her house with a peace I had not felt since the day I accepted my Savior. I walked with boldness to her door and she opened it as if expecting me. I sat with her and apologized for the anger I had, explaining why and releasing a weight I never realized I held. She looked at me astonished and only said she had no idea I was angry. She never acknowledged her part, but that was okay. I was not there to hear an apology, only to give one.

Therefore, God’s chosen ones, holy and loved, put on heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience,

Accepting one another and forgiving one another if anyone as a complaint against anther. Just as the Lord

has forgiven you, so you must also forgive.

Colossians 3: 12-13

We, as followers of Christ, as expected to forgive others. The harsh reality of it, as flesh, we expect to receive the same from the person we are forgiving. We see this in movies and TV shows as the characters all huddle in a hug of compassion, forgiving each other and going off into the sunset to live happily ever after. The truth is, in life that is not always the case. Christ does not ask us to forgive so we can watch as the other person realizes their wrong and ask for forgiveness, instead he ask us to forgive, so that we can be realized from the anger it causes us.

Do you ever find yourself thinking about a person that wronged you and having a heated conversation in your head, proving over and over again why you are right and they are wrong? Do you find that you feel better when that imaginary conversation is over, or do you find that you are angry, sad, or just defeated? Holding on to that does nothing but hurt you. Not everyone needs to have a moment like I had, for some of us the person we need to forgive is gone or unavailable. Find a way to forgive them. Write them a letter that you never mail, go to your knees in prayer and tell God all that you wants to say and then succumb to forgiving release.

I realize that some wrongs are too hard to forgive and go back to a loving relationship with someone. There are those situations where you forgive someone, but due to the circumstances of the wrong doing, it is better to forgive and then let God do the rest.

I know that the day I forgave, was a turning point in my life. I was able to move past a part of my life that had so much control over me. The really scary thing is, I never realized how much control that part of my past, controlled.

Above all, put on love-the perfect bond of unity. And let the peace of the Messiah, to which you were also called in one body,

Control your hearts. Be thankful.

Colossians 1: 14-15

Jehovah Rapha, my Father who heals, I pray you heal the wounds of those reading this. Give them the ability to lay it at the cross and let go of anger in their lives. I lift up each person that is reading this and pray it finds the right audience, for your glory, not mine. Amen.

Dry Bones

Dry Bones

I prayed again to the God of all things good, knowing the scriptures that he would surely listen to. Knock and He would answer, so I knocked and I knocked until all flesh from my balled up fist were bare and I still found myself with no answer. Day after day I drug myself to a job I hated. A job that paid bills I began to hate, that helped to put a roof on a house that I began to regret and helped a hard-working man I began to resent. I wanted to quit. I wanted him to work more so I could quit. I begged him to trust God and let me quit. I made myself believe it was his lack of faith and not mine.  Each day more and more of flesh was left at that job until all that was left was bitter, brittle dry bones. I lay wasting away in field of misery with the bones of self-pity all around me. You have not because you ask not, whatever I thought. I have begged and yet my God still allows me to suffer. The God that parted the Red sea has seen fit to give me one failed interview in three years. I praised Him and swore I trusted him, yet with every unanswered resume, my flesh was dying and my true self was showing. Dry bones, untrusting, unwilling to pray for just one hour…. God, why do you keep me here at this job I hate? I would have taken any job He gave me or that I found for myself. Less pay, less hours, boring, tedious, beneath my skill set, anything. Dry empty bones lay wasting away as I spoke words of trust to all who would listen but spoke words of distrust to my God.

The hand of the Lord was on me, and He brought me out by His Spirit and set me down in the middle of the valley; it was full of bones.

² He led me all around them. There were a great many of them on the surface of the valley, and they were very dry. ³ Then He said to me, “Son of man, can these bones live?”

I replied, “Lord God, only You know.”

Ezekiel 37 1-3

Years of working in an industry struggling to keep up with ever changing technology had brought me to a place of insecurity. As my title did not change for 12 years, my job description did and yet I was unable to change with it. In period of 12 months I went from being a top performer to a failing employee. For 5 years my performance reviews reflected new expectations and failed to mention the things I still excelled in. The truth, I didn’t adapt well and my self-confidence was disappearing along with any hopes of promotion or raise. The last three years I was demoted and forced to take a huge pay cut. For financial reasons, I stayed with the company instead of taking a severance package and regret filled my soul the moment I accepted. From that moment my flesh started slipping and I desperately held on to hope that God would make my dry bones live.

⁴ He said to me, “Prophesy concerning these bones and say to them: Dry bones, hear the word of the Lord! ⁵ This is what the Lord God says to these bones:

I will cause breath to enter you, and you will live. 6 I will put tendons on you, make flesh grow on you, and cover you with skin.

I will put breath in you so that you come to life. Then you will know that I am Yahweh.”

Ezekiel 37 4-6

The day came that I got a new job. As I began to work in a new environment my confidence started to come back. Most recently, God has used this company as a vessel to send my husband on a mission trip, when we had barely breathed the words, God will provide. This vessel has become like the daily manna that the Israelites experienced day after day. He is just in time with His gifts and slowly I am learning to trust His promise and His timing. I knocked and he answer, I ask and he gave. The timing perfect and everything just enough to get us through day by day.

So I prophesied as I had been commanded. While I was prophesying, there was a noise, a rattling sound, and the bones came together, bone to bone.

 ⁸ As I looked, tendons appeared on them, flesh grew, and skin covered them, but there was no breath in them. ⁹ He said to me, “Prophesy to the breath, ^[a] prophesy, son of man. Say to it:

 This is what the Lord God says: Breath, come from the four winds and breathe into these slain so that they may live!”

 10 So I prophesied as He commanded me; the breath^[b] entered them, and they came to life and stood on their feet, a vast army.

Ezekiel 37 7-10

This weekend I was riding in my car when I heard a song about God breathing life into the dry bones I started to think about the last few years of my life and how I now feel. The last week at my new job has been wonderful with rewards from executive level to department level. The sense of employment there is wonderful with people smiling and truly happy with the company they work for. For me, I smiled and realized that the years of negative reviews and unrewarded accomplishment, that had stripped me of my flesh, was over. My God had not just given me any job to make me happy, He had given me an opportunity to rebuild me. He is breathing new life into dry bones and the field of despair is alive with fresh green grass, trees of abundant fruit, hanging low to pick and my dry bones have flesh once more. Only a God that loves us, loves us enough to listen to selfish prayers, while making us wait on his perfect plan.

Father, I thank you for breathing on my dry bones. I praise you for loving me in my weakness. You are almighty, everlasting, and on time. Someone today is reading this and they are laying in valley of dry bones. Storms of life have blown them there. Breathe on her, give her hope, assurance, and grace. Amen.

Losing Control

Losing Control

I stood over my bed smoothing out the 1000 thread count sheets I bought for almost nothing on Black Friday of the year before. As I turned the blankets and angled them just right, my thoughts drifted to the book I was reading during my morning quiet time. I thought about the words of a woman that was sharing her deepest pain and how that one event had shaped so much of her life. As I pulled the red comforter up and tugged it into place, fixing the mangled mess my husband, two cats, and I had left from the night’s sleep, I thought of the moment in time when my own life changed. That painful moment when memories stopped and childhood was erased. Instead of being taken back to the moment I heard my dad say, “She’s gone”, I was transported back to the few times over the last 23 years that I’ve come in contact with someone from that part of my life. A CNA named Stephanie or the man that bought the house my dad was forced to sell because a single income would not support the mortgage or the bills. Those moments were my fragile moments as I was transformed into a young girl that had lost her mother, no….not just her mother, but that lost control. CONTROL! Was that it….was that the word? No, that couldn’t be right. I always felt like a little, lost, crying, unstable girl that had lost her mother, but was that all. The realization of the epiphany I was having 23 years after the most painful time of my life was hitting and the bed was still not made as pillows lay tossed in the center and I reached for my journal.

When my mother died, I sought, without knowing, to stop being that girl. A little girl that lost her mother and could not control the outcome. As I grow older, I see my inability to be spontaneous and the smallest deviation from my plan can send me into a sea of raging anger. I become unglued when we plan a vacation and we or I plan to leave at 9 and we don’t leave until 10. More recently I get angry with my husband when work makes him work late, which is often, or when traffic delays him further. Leave on time, why don’t you leave when your 8 hours are up. That is the plan. That is how it works.

To say, my mother’s death did not affect everyone involved would be incorrect. We were all affected in different ways and I honestly believed that shortly after I accepted Christ, that I had dealt with her death and I was okay. Until this morning, that is,  when I realized that my need to control a situation is rooted in the very pain I long sense thought healed. Not the pain of missing my mother or wishing she had been here to meet my children, but the pain …..just the impossible pain that you experience when you lose a loved one…….

I watched as my mother lay in a hospital bed that was in her bedroom, wasting away to nothing. My family was split as my mother’s family wanted one thing and my dad and his family wanted something else. Horrible words were spoken and as the oldest, I witnessed. I had no control. On my 19^th birthday I got a call telling me my Father had a heart attack.  No control.  The night, my mother died, I listened as she breathed twice…..paused…..gasp for air, repeat…for hours, with no control. The next morning, I was told she was gone, and I heard foot steps leading to my younger siblings…..and I cried, with no control. I listened as my Aunt screamed, when I told her that her sister was gone and told me I was lying and hung up. I answered the phone again, and listened as a CNA called to check on Ms. Brenda and listened as she cried when I told her. LaRita was her name, she cried, and I had no control. I stood in a line that I don’t remember and watched as the three young children were sighed over as well-meaning friends and family cried harder as they thought of how young we were to lose our mother. I stood and watched as my baby sister had to be drugged away from the grave, screaming, “she’s afraid of the dark…..she’s afraid of the dark” and I could not fix it. No control. I packed up my belongings and moved out of my pink bedroom with a view of the pool in the back yard and moved into a tiny rented home, where I shared a room with my sister. I sat and held my 12 year old brother as he lay sobbing, thinking he had disappointed our mother before she died. I could not control his sadness, nor mine. So, one day I stood alone in the tiny rental house and I screamed at God in heaven, that I would never step foot in his church again. Control. This, I could control. Finally, something I could control. For the next few years, I took control of my life. I lived it with no rules and no care of anyone, including myself.

Why, 16 years after accepting Christ, did I have this epiphany, while making my bed? Why now? Why not, for example, while at the altar, during my first months as a new Follower of Christ? Maybe the things I have been through, recently, have prepared me. I just came out of three years in a job I hated, with which I lost complete control and had to depend completely on God, as my mental health failed me. I am still walking through a hurricane as I impatiently wait for God to restore my family and  my mind is constantly roaming to solutions and wishing God Almighty would allow me to take back control. I would say that now, is a good time to teach me this lesson.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving

let your request be made known to God.

Philippians 4:6

To completely understand this scripture, I needed to understand the definition of two words.

Supplication: the action of asking or begging for something earnestly or humbly.

Thanksgiving: the expression of gratitude, especially to God.

To let go of worry, stress, anxiety, control, we must first trust God. To say that I trust God is easy. I do in most things. However, I don’t like it, when He takes control away from me. When I can no longer see the outcome or control the situation I am in. When I found out that my job was coming to an end, I trusted God. When I was offered a job that was a demotion and paid $12,000 a year less, I trusted God. When I started to be unhappy with my job and began looking for the perfect job, I trusted that God would find it for me, but I didn’t like that He got to control the timing. In other words, when I prayed, I did not come to his earnestly believing that He had already found the perfect job , nor was I humble during my period of wait and I certainly was not thankful that God was waiting for the right job and not just putting me in a job.

I honestly don’t know where this epiphany is going to take me. I don’t know if I will loosen up and stop trying to control everything. I do hope that I am able to release my need to control. I think I am still shocked that 23 years ago a young girl of 19, lost control of everything she knew to be her world, and unconsciously started a journey of control. It didn’t happen overnight. I don’t know when it got so bad that I can’t get up in the morning a just drive to where ever the road takes me without planning it out. I do know when it started. Unconsciously, I made the decision that I never wanted to lose that much control of my life, again. It was a painful time and to this day, pieces of my life are gone, because I have blocked out so much. As God heals me, my prayer is that some of those pieces will come back to me.

When will your epiphany happen and what is it? What is it in your life that keeps you from being completely happy? What controls you? For me, the need to control every situation, controls my happiness. My prayer for you is that you will allow God to reveal to you, the way He has revealed to me.

Father, I am thankful for revelations over an unmade bed. I pray for all of those reading or not reading this that they are able to pray with supplication and thanksgiving to you. Let their request be made earnestly before the creator of the world. Amen